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Going on a first date is exciting and nerve-racking at the same time, but once it’s over, you’re usually able to breathe a huge sigh of relief — until you have to decide where things will go from here. If you’ve recently gone on a date with a guy and things went okay, but they weren’t great, and you’re undecided as to whether or not a second date is worth having or if it’s best to just stay friends there are some things to consider before making a final decision.
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How was the conversation?
While your were talking throughout the date, how did the conversation go? Were there a lot of awkward silences? Were you two able to sustain a worthwhile conversation? Though first date conversations are bound to be a bit awkward at times, think about how well you two were able to talk and what about. If things went well, that’s a good sign.
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Did you click?
After the first date, you should have a good idea as to whether or not the two of you had a connection or not. If there was a connection, definitely consider going on a second date and seeing if things can get even better. If there wasn’t a strong vibe sent between you two and you feel like he’d make a better friend than a boyfriend, don’t go on another date as you’ll be leading him on, and that can lead to bad feelings in the end.
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Do you still find him attractive?
During the first date, some men can do things that are immediate turn offs, no matter how fine he is — for instance, a man who burps all throughout dinner without a care in the world. If your date is still pretty attractive in your eyes, that means that he didn’t do anything major to turn you off from him.
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Were you bored on the date?
If you were ever bored at one point during the date, then something isn’t exactly right. Being bored on a date means that you two weren’t able to connect in a way that you could keep each other entertained and interested for a few hours. Think about what made you bored. Was it the lack of good conversation, which can be blamed on it being the first date? Or does this man generally seem like a dud?
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Did you feel safe around him?
Being able to feel safe around someone is a good feeling. It’s even better when you’re able to feel safe during the first date. If you felt intimidated or at any type of risk during the date, definitely don’t get yourself involved in the same situation again. You want to go on dates with a guy who makes you feel safe. There’s nothing worse than feeling unsafe on a date because he’s aggressive or just overly weird.
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Do you have things in common?
Having similar hobbies and interests with someone is crucial if you’re going to continue to go on dates and spend more time together. If you two had plenty of things in common, definitely go for a second date and see what else you two may have alike. If you only had a few things in common or nothing at all, going on a second date may be pointless. You can’t make someone like the same things you like, and vice versa.
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Is he boyfriend material?
After dating other men, you should have a pretty clear picture of the type of guy that fits your boyfriend mold. Does this guy have the personality traits that you look for in a partner? Is he someone that you could see yourself dating? If the answer is yes, spend more time together. If not, there is no use in going on dates with someone only to waste your time and energy, as well as his.
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Did he make you laugh?
If a guy can’t make you laugh, especially on the first date, it’s definitely something you want to keep in mind. Being able to laugh together and at each other shows that the two of you can be lighthearted when you’re around each other. However, if most of your date was kept with a straight face, don’t bother going on another one. You want a guy who can make you laugh.
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Was he a gentleman?
Did he open doors for you? Did he speak to you without calling you baby? Was he able to keep his eyes focused on your face and not other parts of your body? While some guys put on the act of a gentleman, most men who show chivalrous acts tend to be the ones who will truly treat you like a queen.
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Did he focus on you?
A lot of guys have that crazy medical condition of having to check out every single female in the room. Of course, it’s natural that a man will look at other people, including women, but you want to make sure that the guy you’re going on dates with actually focused on you. If your date was texting or making a lot of phone calls, or if he was flirting with the waitress and eyeballing everyone else in the room, don’t plan for another date.
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Has he contacted you since?
When a guy sends you a text message or calls you after the first date, he is clearly interested in you, and if the feeling is mutual, you should go on more dates. Having a guy that is willing to initiate communication with you shows that he wants to see you again. If your first date with a guy was last week and you haven’t heard from him in two weeks, it’s obvious that he isn’t interested in what you have to offer. Move on!
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Were there any red flags?
As a woman, some definite things will set off a red flag in your mind. During the date, did your partner say or do anything that immediately signaled a red flag in your mind? Is he a smoker? Is he divorced? Does he have a lot of children? Does he live at home with his parents? Whatever the red flag may be, keep tabs on how many there are throughout the night. If there are red flags that you can’t accept, a second date is a waste.
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Did it feel right?
Throughout the entirety of the date, you’ll know whether or not things feel right. If the second you walked in and met your date you felt comfortable and safe, it’s safe to say that things are off to a good start. However, if you felt a little off and not really sure about the guy you were on a date with, you may want to reconsider going on another date. There’s nothing worse than going on a date with someone and dealing with a weird atmosphere. Trust your intuition.
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Does someone else peak your interest more?
If you’re in the dating stage of things, it’s likely that you have also gone on dates with other men recently. Has one of the other guys been on your mind? Do you think that someone else that you’ve spent time with may be a better match and more worthy of your time? If you are drawn to one man more than any of the others, trust your gut instinct and focus on him.
