It’s Not All About Looks: How Not-So-Handsome Men Land Gorgeous Women

May 15, 2013  |  
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Long have people stopped and paused in wonder at the bland, medium-build, partially balding man walking down the street hand-in-hand with the woman who should be on the cover of a magazine. The usual thoughts cross our minds, he must be rich, he must be powerful, and sometimes, that’s true. But men of totally average positions in life — financially and otherwise — regularly land gorgeous women. Here’s how.

They actually approach

You don’t approach the gorgeous woman because you assume a hundred other men already have this night. Guess what? Those hundred other men had the same thought. Competition for gorgeous women is actually very small, and the successful men are just the few brave ones. Most gorgeous women are left unspoken to all night at a bar!

They don’t tell them they’re gorgeous

Gorgeous women are on the defense because they assume all men want them for is their looks. For this reason, at the first mention of their appearance you’re out. You can give her that type of compliment maybe once you get a date, but in the first conversation, don’t say a word.

Okay, they tell them, but it’s a throwaway comment

Tell a woman, “You’re gorgeous” and just stare at her waiting for a response and she’ll squirm. But, if you wait for an opportune time when it can be slipped in (not as the center of the conversation), you’ll flatter her and make her want more attention. For example, if she complains that her professor in a class always calls on her, just say casually, “Well yeah, because you’re gorgeous and stand out” and then move on with the conversation. You’ll have her hooked.

They make them laugh

Like Marilyn Monroe said, “If you can make a woman laugh you can make her do anything.” And that’s basically true. Humor is actually something that, when shared with someone, touches on various levels of a person’s psyche, making them feel very bonded to you. So when you make a woman laugh, you make her feel understood.


They tease their own appearance

A woman will be comfortable with your appearance if you’re comfortable with it. If you tease your balding head, or your little belly bulge, she’ll find these traits endearing instead of unattractive.

They address her friends, too

Overwhelmed by their beauty, many men will walk up to a beautiful woman in a group and zoom in on her, awkwardly ignoring her friends and breaking up their conversation. Treat her whole group equally, making eye contact with and engaging all of her friends. Not only will the gorgeous woman respect that you’re kind to her friends, but she’ll dismiss the idea you’re just after her. And then, she might actually become interested in you.

They listen

We know: her breasts are perfect and her eyes are making your brain freeze, but pull it together, take a sip of cold water, and actually listen to what the woman is saying. All women—gorgeous and otherwise—love to feel listened to. And gorgeous women rarely feel people hear them.


They let her make the first move

Trust us: don’t lay a finger on her, and she’ll want your hands all over her. Gorgeous women assume you pine after them just from laying eyes on them but deep down, they want to work for your desire and affection. If you respect her and engage her in conversation for hours, but keep your hands to yourself, she’ll be itching for your affection.

They ask for her advice

Gorgeous women fear that people think they’re good for nothing other than their looks. Make her feel valued. A great conversation starter could be as simple as, “My parents are visiting this weekend. Where do you think I should take them?”

They relax

Romantic approaches are nerve wracking for everyone! Even gorgeous women. If you approach her full of anxiety and anticipation, she’ll feel anxiety over fulfilling some expectations of yours. So breathe slowly, keep a smile on your face, and ask a disarming question. Don’t seem like you want something.

Point out a physical detail

Gorgeous women are actually deathly insecure that they look exactly like every other gorgeous woman—in their own way, they feel they blend in with the crowd. Pick out one thing—like the way her nose wrinkles when she laughs, or the freckles around her eyes—and say you like it. She’ll love feeling zoomed in on, rather than just glossed over as “hot woman.”


Compliment her on something she did to her beauty

Another thing gorgeous women are afraid of: nature and time taking its toll. Natural beauty is great, but also fleeting. Make a woman feel that she is in control of her appearance, and you make her feel confident. Tell her you like how her clothes flatter her figure, or how her scarf brings out her eyes, or how her haircut emphasizes her cheek bones. Make her feel that she has the power to make herself look beautiful.

Suggest activities, not dates

Men try to buy gorgeous women all of the time with invites to expensive dinners, wine tastings, and spas. And (most) gorgeous women can sniff out a man who thinks she’s just a sexual object to be bought. Take her by surprise and suggest a unique activity that you two can enjoy and experience together. She’ll immediately feel viewed more as a potential partner rather than a trophy.

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