Female empowerment and encouragement are things that I adamantly support. I have friends that I consider sisters and enjoy meeting like-minded women. Unfortunately, all women aren’t the same. And instead of support you’re met with a whole lot of shade. Instead of building a friendship, you’re introduced to an enemy.
In some cases, it’s easy to spot a woman who is being blatantly disrespectful. In other cases, the disrespect is snuck in so subtly that you feel inappropriate for even addressing it, although you sense the shade being thrown. Yes, there are times when our beloved sisters, including ourselves, can be subtly disrespectful. Maybe you’ve experienced some of this disrespectful behavior or possibly dished it out. In either case, here are a few of the most common disrespectful things that women can do to each other.
Fake Terms of Endearment
“Sweetie,” “Honey,” and “Hun” are all cute pet names used in intimate relationships, whether between boyfriend and girlfriend or amongst closest friends; However, it becomes irritating and borderline disrespectful when strangers, specifically those younger than you, consider referring to you as such. Maybe the person is simply using the term innocently, but for the sake of confusion, it would be nice to restrict these intimate names to personal relationships.
The Infamous Hair Questions
Okay, as women we love hair. We enjoy experimenting and are always cooing over someone’s nice hair or hairstyle. However, asking a woman “who does your weave?” or “is that yours???” in public is never okay. Even if you mean it in the nicest way possible, for some women, hair care or the extensions people wear are a personal matter. Never ask the question in public.
“He Tried To Talk To You Too?”
It’s okay, and sometimes recommended that you let a woman know if a man is loose in trying to talk to other women, including yourself; but if you are just getting acquainted with a woman and choose to emphasize that the same guy has shown interest in you, it can become tacky or disrespectful, depending on who you ask.
Comparisons In Style
Everyone has their own unique style and questioning another woman’s choice of attire, especially in public, is never a good thing. So what if you would never be caught dead wearing what someone has on? The person wearing it doesn’t need to know that.
Comparisons In Relationships
Offering unsolicited advice on relationships can either be extremely helpful or disrespectful. It can be especially intolerable when comparing your relationships to someone else’s, secretly belittling their actions. Relationship advice should be limited to friends; and to be on the safe side, it should be solicited. Basically, let someone ask you for your opinion before choosing to give it on something that they consider a touchy subject.
The Weight Gain Comment
Hair, men, money, and weight are a few things that can turn great girl-talk into a heated conversation. Women don’t like when men question them about their weight, and neither do they like other women asking about it, especially when it’s done in a public forum (once again). If you have a question about a woman’s weight, do her a favor and don’t ask. She has a mirror.
The Fake “I Don’t Know You”
Some women pride themselves on making another woman feel less important. By pretending that you’ve never seen or heard of someone when you know you have shows a level of disrespect and insecurity that should be evaluated. Really, what’s the point of acting like you don’t know someone? It’s extremely petty.
Flaunting Her Ex
You hate going to social gatherings; but after finding out that your ex’s girlfriend will be there, you decide to show up with him on your arm. While you convince him and possibly yourself that you just want to enjoy a night out, it’s somewhat immature and disrespectful to the other woman to flaunt him for the sake of saying you have him. This is probably one of the most common, subtle, disrespectful behaviors demonstrated by women.
In no way is this list mean to bash women. After all, I am one. Still, sometimes we can allow our insecurities to get the best (or worst) of us and we end up secretly putting down other women. While at times it could be intentional, sometimes it’s surprisingly not; but to avoid offending another woman, I choose to stray away from all eight of these behaviors and hope that other women I meet have decided to do the same.