You’ve probably heard of the 5 love languages. As a refresher they are: words of affirmation, quality time, gift giving, acts of service and physical touch. According to some schools of thought, these are the 5 ways a person can show love. It’s believed most people speak in three out of the five languages. But, we think this view can be a little limiting. Plus we want to give credit to the men out there who don’t necessarily speak any of these languages fluently, but show love in other very tangible ways.
Giving up his status
This means giving up a high paying job to stay in the same town as you, or to keep a schedule that allows him to spend time with you, or even simply because you do not agree with the ethics behind said high-paying job. A man who is willing to sacrifice status for love is well on his way to understanding what’s truly important in life. Career is important, but it should never be at the cost of pushing out your most cherished relationships.
Giving up time with friends
Face it: a man looks a little whipped when he says, “Sorry guys I can’t come to Vegas this weekend. I promised my girlfriend we’d spend it together.” And being willing to look “whipped” is a true act of love.
Going with you to dull/obligatory functions
Don’t be fooled by his smiling face and seemingly engaged demeanor: he is as bored at your office party or family reuinion as you are. But the fact that he is willing to tag along to those events, and even try to make them more enjoyable for you speaks wonders for his love for you.
Helping your parents
So long as he is an attentive and loving partner to you, that’s all that really matters to your parents. The occasional bouquet of flowers or bottle of wine when they have him over is appreciated, but they don’t expect more. But a man who truly loves you feels love and responsibility for the people you are close with. So give a man credit who picks up your parents after an operation, and drives them all around town to run their errands. He really didn’t have to do that.
Doing something you don’t have time for
You’ve been meaning to clean your kitchen forever, or fix a creaking door, or even return a sweater but haven’t had time. You come home to find your kitchen spick and span, the door suddenly silent, and a return receipt for that sweater. A man who loves you wants to relieve you of stresses whenever possible.
Educating himself on your passion
He should occasionally accompany you to events or activities that you’re highly involved in. But he doesn’t need to take French lessons just because you’re in a French group. He doesn’t need to study up on your favorite genre of music so you two can have lengthy discussions about it. A man who does that is looking to bond with you on any and every level possible.
Considering you on decisions
He gets a couch in the material you love to snuggle up in, or chooses a work shift that allows you two to spend more time together, or doesn’t accept an invitation to a trip before he checks to see if you need him for anything that weekend. A man who thinks about how all of his decisions affect you is a keeper!
Keeping quiet at the right times
When you need to vent, or perhaps when you say something harsh that he knows you don’t mean but you’re just saying out of pain, your man stays quiet. He certainly has a reply he is itching to put out there. But he puts his pride aside and doesn’t try to argue or correct you when he knows it will only make things worse, and you need time to air out your feelings.
Speaking up at the right times
When you’re pushing your partner away, but in reality you really need his love and affirmation at that moment, he knows that. He puts his pride aside again, and even though you’re mistreating him, grabs you, kisses you and tells you he loves you. He gives you love even when you’re too proud to ask for it, making himself very vulnerable, all to help you.
Making the changes you ask for
He stops smoking for you, he starts working out when you express concern about his health, and he buys a safer car when you’re clearly on the edge of your seat in his sports car. He doesn’t stubbornly hold onto every part of himself, all “on principal” but considers what he can change about himself to make you happier, without changing who he fundamentally is. Remember: there are a lot of men out there who just won’t change for a woman. At all. Period.
Giving you gifts for no reason at all
These aren’t useful gifts. They’re beautifully unnecessary gifts. These say “I don’t only want to be a support to the practical parts of your life—I want to make your life feel magical and extraordinary.”
A man uncomfortable with PDA often feels emasculated being seen by others kissing or hugging his girlfriend. So think about that next time he gives you a wet one at the grocery store. He is giving up his manhood for a second to make you feel loved!
Expressing himself through the written word
Men are left brained and so they’re naturally less inclined to express themselves via the written word. But oh how a woman loves a good love letter, or even a sentimental email. Even though it can be challenging for a man, and sometimes feel emasculating, you can tell a man really loves you if he’ll go Jane Austen on you!
Trying new things in bed
There is a lot tied to a person’s insecurities in the bedroom. What they do and don’t do in there isn’t just about them as a sexual being. It speaks to them on every level of their personality. So when a man is willing to try something he’s uncomfortable with just to satisfy you, that’s going to stick with him long after the act! That’s love.