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We’re all familiar with the infamous ‘list’ when it comes to dating. In our quest to find a mate, or better yet, for a mate to find us, there are some things that we should require from our mate to ensure a lasting relationship; and in-turn let go of some superficial things that may instead hinder our chances of love instead of helping us.

With that being said, it’s important to know what you want in a significant other, but it’s even more important to let love happen and be open to new people and possibilities. Maybe you’d love your soon-to-be man to have sex appeal like Idris Elba and a face and body like Boris Kodjoe, but are these really deal breakers? If so, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you may be single for a long time, if not forever.  Someone possessing 100% of the characteristics we want, the superficial ones included, may not be realistic.

Still, there are qualities that should be non-negotiable when considering a long-term mate. These are the patterns of behavior in the relationship that either you can deal with (negotiable) or you can’t (non-negotiable).

Here are 9 things to consider. Then we’d like to hear from you, Mesdames. Tell us what some of your non-negotiables are when it comes to your future man. It’s okay to be honest and list those things that others may consider superficial; after all it is your list and your life.

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