Why? Because we’re told we’re not “allowed” to get mad or be suspicious yet: he’s not our boyfriend yet. This has led many women to believe that behavior pre-relationship is not indicative of what a man’s behavior will be post-commitment – as if he just transforms into a new man once he takes on the title of “boyfriend.” Yeah right. Here are early signs a guy will cheat, way before he even has the chance. And yes, you should look for them.
He is weird about past relationships
If he won’t share details about his past relationships, odds are it’s because those details wouldn’t make him look very good. If it were just a crazy ex, or a nasty breakup, he’d dish. Everybody does. But when the storyteller is the antagonist in his own story, he’s usually not itching to share the details.
None of his exes talk to him
If he has one or two exes who hate his guts, that’s normal. But if every single girl he’s ever dated would slash his tires given the chance, that’s no coincidence; the common denominator in all of those relationships is the guy. And if he didn’t cheat on all of those women, he at least acted shady. Women don’t hate a guy for being wishy-washy, or wanting different things than them. The guy has to really mess up to be hated.
Somebody throws a drink on him
If an ex ever does walk into the picture and throws a drink on the guy, or slashes those tires, do you really need any more evidence? Add that to the fact that he refused to tell you details about that breakup? Again, cheaters get drinks in their faces.
He is crazy jealous
People usually fear the most what they know lives inside of them. A crazy jealous, suspicious and controlling man usually is so because he has first-hand proof that cheating happens…via himself.
You’re not always invited
The guy has odd reasons for you not to come to certain parties or get-togethers, like it will all be people from work and you’ll be bored, or it’s more of a guy’s night, or you won’t like the bar. Come on; a guy that really likes you and isn’t up to anything shady wants you around! Even if you would be bored, he wants you there to keep him company! But, if there is the potential to cheat, or even just act inappropriately with other women, he won’t want you there.
He is very passionate
He is very romantic, he falls in love in a second, he has grand ideas of trips you’ll take together, and the kids you’ll have together, and you’ve only known each other for a few weeks. This guy lets his heart (and probably something else) lead the way all the time! And somebody who believes whatever the heart says is someone who will often justify cheating with, “But it just felt so right at the time…”
He believes in soul mates
Similar to the very passionate guy, a guy who believes in soul mates will believe it’s perfectly okay to cheat with a woman, if he believes she is his soul mate. It could be because they love the same weird flavor of ice cream, or have travelled to all the same places—there are a variety of frivolous reasons people believe to have found their soul mate—but if it happens, that little bell will go off in your guy’s head, “Ding ding ding! Soul mate found!” and he won’t think any rules apply to him.
There are only two reasons a person’s stories shouldn’t match up: they are planning you a big surprise, or they are cheating. At the very least, hanging out with another woman in a capacity that’s just not appropriate. But people don’t just forget where they’ve been all afternoon, or forget details of their week.
It’s hard to get him to commit
If a guy didn’t want to give up his freedom for months or even years, dragging you along in some sort of pseudo-relationship with unclear lines, he will either end the relationship quickly after it’s confirmed, make a terrible boyfriend, or cheat. It’s just that simple. Don’t trust a man who you had to lasso into committing to you.
He dates multiple people while he can
Sure, you’re not “technically” a couple yet. It isn’t “technically” cheating if he sees or sleeps with other women during this time of limbo. But the fact that he used that technicality to his advantage is not a good sign.
He is still friends with exes who he had terrible breakups with—breakups that involved screaming, constant fighting, atrocious acts, and perhaps even cheating. There is only one reason a person remains friends (if you can call it that) with an ex that he has such a turbulent past with; there is something he still wants out of that person. Whether it’s to make her jealous, or to make her love him again, in some way he still deeply care what that person thinks about him. He’s still trying to win the battle that never really ended, just because the relationship did. And that’s easy territory for cheating.
He’s private about his belongings
Everyone is entitled to his or her privacy, yes. But, similar to the “it’s not technically cheating if we’re not official” rule, it’s not good if a man uses these rules to his advantage. He has a right to privacy, but it’s suspicious if he wants to invoke that right.
He buys you lots of gifts
He showers you with over the top expensive presents, constantly plans elaborate dates for the two of you, takes you on trips, and gets you a whole new wardrobe. Men who saturate their womenwith monetary gifts often have some narcissistic tendencies, and one is a mentality that they “own” their women. And when a man has that mentality, he usually thinks it’s okay to cheat.
He won’t compliment other women
He gets nervous if a woman so much as asks, “Do you like my haircut?” in front of you. He won’t speak to or even look at other women in front of you. If his friends are going on about how hot some chick is he pretends to not even notice her. This is usually because he has something to hide! A man who knows his intentions are in the right place feels safe speaking to other women in front of you, and even complimenting them. He knows where the line is drawn, and he knows he won’t cross it. Men who do cross the line, try to stay as far away as possible from that line when you’re around.