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What is a relationship, really? It can be defined in so many terms but one thing should hold true for any relationship: each person should make equal effort to show how much he or she value that relationship. And if a man is guilty of the below, he simply doesn’t value you.


He only reaches out at night

If he isn’t giving you a substantial heads up before asking to see you, you’re just a whim he occasionally likes to satisfy. But he doesn’t like you enough to plan to see you in advance, because he doesn’t know for sure that he will want to see you in the future.

He only reaches out when drunk

This means he doesn’t care what impression he makes on you, and that he only has “feelings” for you when they are alcoholically manifested.

He doesn’t cuddle you

Even the coldest-hearted, weirdest guy feels the urge to cuddle a girl when he likes her. Even if he doesn’t like cuddling, he does it to make her happy.

But when he does cuddle you…

It’s because he needs it. He had a rough day. He just ran into his ex and needs to feel wanted. He just uses you to make himself feel better.

If you didn’t make the effort, you wouldn’t see him

Think about it: if you didn’t call him, if you didn’t ask him to hang out, if you didn’t drive to his place or show up when he asked you to be somewhere, would you see each other? If the answer is no, then you’re a toy.


He doesn’t give you special attention

When in a crowd, he doesn’t give you a big, direct greeting. No kiss on the cheek. No hug. Just a, “Hey” or a simple nod. He doesn’t want anyone, including you, to think that you’re his “special guest.”

You only got the FB invite

No personal text. No phone call. Not even a Facebook private message. You were grouped in on the Facebook invite, with all of the other people who he could care less if they actually showed up or not. They are like filler fruit in the basket—they just make it look better.

He never sleeps over

He says he sleeps better at his own place, so he always goes home. Essentially it’s all, “Me, me, me.” Having sex would make me feel better right now. Now sleeping in my own bed would make me happy. There’s no thought of, “But what would make her happy?”

You’re mostly at your place

Most guys that just view you as a toy won’t want to have you over because leaving your place is easier than kicking you out of theirs.

Or, you always have to go to him

On the flip side, the guy that is truly lazy always has you over, because then he doesn’t have to go anywhere. He can order you to his door along with a pizza.

He sees you in between things

He sees you on his way somewhere. He sees you before his main event for the evening. There is always something he has to do after seeing you. He never sets aside an unlimited amount of time for you, like a full evening or day together.

He’s using his phone all the time

If he really cared about you being around—if you were irreplaceable to him—he would not be texting away while the two of you were hanging out.

He has silly excuses to leave

Excuses that could easily wait, or be attended to by somebody else. He forgot to turn on his recorder for his favorite show. His dog needs to be walked right now. He wants to buy groceries.

His friends give you the signs

Good friends make an effort to make the girl their friend really likes feel welcome, comfortable and accepted. If his friends barely make effort to have a conversation with you or get to know you, they probably know you’re just a phase.

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