Give Her Half or Go Half on a Baby? – Questions Of Being a Father vs. Being a Husband

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4. He Doesn’t Want the Extra Responsibility

A man’s greatest fear is that marriage will require too many changes, compromises  and responsibilities. Yes, children require change, compromise and responsibility too, but somehow for some men, agreeing to co-parent requires less energy than making sure little Tommy does his homework AND his woman is happy too. And if the man has no desire to actually have physical custody of the child, then selfishly, co-parenting might be that much easier. Men see wives as second mothers or overbearing bosses who they have to check in with. If a man wants to go out with his boys and run the streets all night long, as long as it’s not his weekend with the kids, he can go. However, if he’s married, he’d have to run it by wifey first to make sure she doesn’t need him for anything. Now, to some folks, this is just a simple act of courtesy, not a death sentence. But some men feel they’d be imprisoned in marriage, and they don’t want to give up their freedom. They can share a child part-time instead of being a full-time husband, and he doesn’t have to share his space or all of his time. He may still want his OWN place, his OWN money and want to spend his OWN free time doing whatever he wants without having to answer to anyone. Being a (good) father is definitely work, but so is carrying the title of husband – one who has to be the head of the household – and not all men are built to tend to a wife AND a child. If he can only handle one, it might as well be the one that affords him the luxury of being a part-time parent with no wifey complications…because in his mind, marriage is just MORE work.

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