Single Black Male: 5 Reasons Why Men Hate Ultimatums in Relationships

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Ultimatums Make Men Feel Like They Are At Work

For those men who like/love their career, there are more good days than bad. Younger professionals will be in a transition phase with the different jobs they hold, so they can see different work environments frequently. Other hate their job and are feverishly looking for the next move.  In our careers, and the types of employment we lead, you will have to deal with meetings, schedules, and deadlines. You have to be to work at a certain time, leave work “when the job is completed”, and you are constantly measured on metrics. Deadlines are stressful and you do what you have to do to meet them, and hate the whole explanation process when you miss them. You know that at the end of the day, you have an escape when you reach your home. Separating work from your personal life is crucial, so that you can recharge and escape the daily hustle and flow of the work grind. When a man leaves that environment, he doesn’t want to have to deal with the same competitiveness with his family or loved ones. So when a woman wants to drop deadlines and ultimatums in situations, a man can be emotionally and psychologically exhausted. Whether they are in the wrong or not, they would just like to handle these situations without the drama of completion. Men will wonder why communication has to occur in this manner between him and his boo and may just give up all together.

Ultimatums Highlight a Constant Pattern of Unfavourable Behaviour

The ultimatum is the perfect tool for women to utilize when their man is showing a constant commitment to not giving any concern about the undesirable actions they perform. Maybe your man is always biting his nails. Maybe he talks to you in a certain tone that you don’t enjoy. Your man might even leave the toilet seat up although he grew up with five sisters and damn sure knows better than that! Either way, you probably have mentioned your dislike for these actions time and time again, without any change in his pattern. Therefore, women will result to the “…or else” move so that he knows you’re dead serious and want to see results. Once a man hears this ultimatum, he knows that he is on the hot seat and can’t wiggle out of trouble anymore. What makes it even worse is that these ultimatums are more than often caused by little annoying shyte that men do every day, and refuse to change out of laziness. They get this wake up call from their women, and now they know they have to change or move on to the next one. This type of pressure isn’t cool to men, and if they feel they aren’t in the wrong, it can turn into one big spectacle for no reason.

Communication needs to get better between men and women. When you date, it should never get that far to the point of ultimatums being proposed. I do agree that sometimes it is warranted, but men need to be as receptive to a woman’s feelings and vice versa. Put out the small fires before they can become major blazes. Women, know that not everything has to come down to an “..or else” scenario. Know your partner well and don’t drop ultimatums just because.

As for the 5th reason? I will leave that for you to answer! Let us know why men hate ultimatums. Ladies, let us know why you give ultimatums to men. What are the pros and cons? Men how have you handled ultimatums and demands? Have you given ultimatums to woman?

Comment on this post, OR ELSE…

StreetZ is a writer for the men’s blog Single Black Male. Streetz enjoys the enigma that is his life, and let’s his opinions excel in textual form. His passion for storytelling and diverse interests are driven by both his life experiences, and his desire to motivate and be inspired. Follow him on twitter @StreetzTalk

 

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