My Life With Multiple Myeloma — What Black Woman Need To Know

Let me tell you about that time I had my heart broken by a white man. This was not the traditional heartbreak sis, it is a different kind of hurt. Yes, it came with tears, a loss of appetite, and fear, but still, this differed from anything I had ever experienced.

On December 11, 2017, Dr. Thomas Neal walked into the room, looked me in my eyes, and said, “Ms. Bigelow, you have cancer.”

And just like that… everything changed.

RELATED CONTENT: How Being Diagnosed With Multiple Myeloma Changed My Life

That moment broke my heart. Hell, it broke my spirit momentarily. It shifted my entire world. And if I am being honest, I have never been that terrified.

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I had been dealing with symptoms that did not quite make sense for years, persistent pain, unshakable fatigue, and an overall sense that something in my body was not right. However, I gave the credit to uterine fibroids and the havoc they were causing. And although I felt horrible, like so many Black women, I pushed through.

However, on December 11th, I finally got an answer: Multiple Myeloma, a blood cancer that affects plasma cells in the bone marrow. A cancer that is technically incurable. A cancer that robs you of so much life.

From that day until today, a quote by Susan L. Taylor has stayed with me throughout this journey.

“In every crisis there is a message. Crises are nature’s way of forcing change, breaking down old structures, shaking loose negative habits so that something new and better can take their place.”

That diagnosis was my crisis. That diagnosis got my attention. That diagnosis forced me to change. Oh, and while I could not see it then, now I know that crisis forced me to be more intentional and even greater.

Blood Cancer United describes Multiple Myeloma as rare. However, it is not rare for us, and by us, I mean Black women. Black women are twice as likely to be diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma compared to white women, and we are part of a growing population of individuals living with this disease, per Blood Cancer United. Yet like with so many other diseases, we are underrepresented in awareness, underdiagnosed in clinical settings, and too often dismissed when we speak up about our symptoms.

I was dismissed and made to feel crazy so many times before I was diagnosed. Truthfully, I began to feel like doctors were right. I felt crazy because why was I in so much pain? Why was I so tired—all the damn time? Why was I having so many dental issues when I once had perfect oral health? Was I exaggerating? Before Myeloma was my reality, it had already begun challenging my body and my mind. The naming of the thing was just icing on an unbelievably bad cake.

Once the shock wore off, I had to decide how I was going to live. Because my first thought was death, literally. I could not imagine showing up for myself much less surviving. How would my children navigate through life without me? How would my parents process this loss? There was so much more I needed to do, but I could not because I was dying. That thought immediately had me grieving for my loved ones.

And then, I decided that I deserved to enjoy the life I had left. I started living again, but this time, differently—more aware, more intentional, more disciplined, more aligned. I decided I did not want to just survive cancer. I wanted to kick cancer’s ass. I wanted to show women how to live well while living with cancer.

It has been almost nine years, and I have learned so much. Much of what I have learned will not be found on Google because it is not there. No, we are not shadow-banned—the data just does not exist. Like so many other conversations, Black women are not included, intentionally.

Listen sis, if there is anything my journey has taught me, it is this: if you want to protect yourself, it begins with awareness. Here are five things every Black women needs to know about Multiple Myeloma.

1. We Are at a Higher Risk—So Awareness Matters

We—Black women—are more likely to develop Multiple Myeloma, but less likely to be diagnosed early and that gap is no coincidence. Oftentimes, our symptoms are dismissed, our pain is minimized, and what should be investigated is ignored. They write our symptoms off as stress or aging especially because Multiple Myeloma can show up in subtle ways, fatigue, bone pain, or frequent illness. These things make it easy to overlook until the disease has progressed.

That is why advocacy is extremely necessary. Ask questions. Demand answers. Trust your body. Because when it comes to your health, being loud can save your life.

2. Everything Ain’t “Just Stress”

Fatigue, bone pain, and frequent illness are easy symptoms to dismiss, especially when you are programmed to push through, show up, and carry every damn thing.

Multiple Myeloma is not loud; it whispers. You literally have to listen closely. Subtle symptoms include persistent exhaustion that rest does not resolve, aching bones that do not have a clear cause, and getting sick more often than usual.

Your body is communicating with you, so please do not ignore it. Please don’t reduce it to stress, aging, or just “life lifeing.”

Pay attention. Put a pin in what lingers. And do not downplay what does not feel right because your body will whisper before it starts screaming, and trust me, you don’t want it to scream.

3. Early Detection Can Change Everything

The early phase of Multiple Myeloma is called Smoldering Multiple Myeloma. This is the stage where the disease is present but not yet active. In most cases, Smoldering Multiple Myeloma does not require immediate treatment, but it does require monitoring, awareness, and intention.

Fortunately, I was diagnosed during this phase. But my numbers were right on the edge of transitioning over into stages 1 and 2. My doctor explained that even though he wasn’t going to immediately start me on a treatment plan, it was in the very near future, based on my numbers. My numbers indicated several concerns, including very high iron and vitamin D deficiency due to a uterine fibroid that caused excessive bleeding. Another worrying number was the one on the scale. I weighed 376 lbs, and it was negatively impacting my health in many ways.

Eventually, I transitioned over into stage 1 and two, and chose to undergo chemotherapy and immunotherapy.

Early diagnosis is extremely significant because, ultimately, it provides you with time. Time to understand your body. Time to make informed decisions. Time to move with strategy instead of urgency.

Early diagnosis means opportunity. Opportunity to ask questions. Opportunity to be proactive. Opportunity to take control of your health before the disease does it for you. Taking advantage of the opportunity is a kind of awareness that can change everything.

4. Lifestyle Is Part Of The Strategy

Medical care is essential, but so is how you live and love on yourself. What you eat, how you move, how you manage stress, how you rest are vital factors when you are living with a disease like Multiple Myeloma. Your body is already doing a lot. Then the question becomes: are you supporting it, or are you working against it?

For me, that meant getting honest about my habits, and God knows I had several awful habits.

I had an extremely unhealthy relationship with food. I was overeating. My sugar consumption was ridiculous. I rarely exercised. And at 376 lbs, it showed.

I had to start fueling my body with good intention. So, I decided to make significant lifestyle changes. I stopped eating my fears and feelings. I started eating to heal. I cut out sugar. And I started moving. Myeloma destroys your bones, so incorporating movement into my lifestyle was vital. Losing weight helped save my life.

I also prioritized protecting my peace like it was part of my treatment plan because it is.

My goal was not perfection; it was alignment. I started small, consistently making choices that helped my body do what it was designed to do, fight, heal, and sustain me.

Sis, lifestyle is strategy. Everything else is secondary.

5. You Define Your Healing Journey

There is no one-size-fits-all approach to living with Multiple Myeloma. I don’t care what anyone says. Explore your options, ask questions, and choose what feels best for your body and your life. I choose a combination of traditional and holistic treatment. However, both may not be a part of your journey. Just know that healing is not just physical, it is mental, emotional, and spiritual too. And trust me, a cancer diagnosis will challenge each of those.

You deserve to live well. I deserve to live well. Multiple Myeloma is only part of my story; it is not the headline.

Sometimes crisis comes to disrupt you.

Sometimes it comes to redirect you.

And sometimes, it comes to transform you.

I want Black women living with Multiple Myeloma and any other cancer diagnosis to understand this: you have cancer. Cancer does not have you.

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