How Halle Berry Helped Energize My Sex Life After Perimenopause

I have leaned all the way into being an auntie and the auntie aesthetics. I know that with that comes many things, most are amazing until you factor in perimenopause. The night sweats, the hot flashes, the body aches, the itchy ears, and the brain fog are all bad, but I am bearing with them. However, what is problematic and unbearable is the way perimenopause tried to damage my sex life.

I have been a sexual and sensual centered woman most of my life. I attribute that to several things, and honestly, now is not the time to dive into that. Just know, I have been voluntarily sexually active since I was 13–yes, too damn young and another story for another day—but my relationship with sex has never been rooted in shame or secrecy. I have enjoyed intimacy and learned a lot through every season of my life—and if I am being honest, my sex life got spicier as I got older, because I became more confident, and more comfortable in my body, with my body, and with the woman I am.

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I knew my body. I knew my desire. I knew what pleasure felt like. So, when my libido started declining a few years ago, I noticed and was hot and bothered—pun intended. Initially, I was not pressed. I was single. Unbothered. Sex was not a priority—it was optional. But now I am in a relationship with a man whose appetite for me is strong and consistent. And suddenly, what I could ignore before matters. A whole lot. Not because there is a demand for me to perform—but because I want to meet the needs of my man. Most of all, I thoroughly delight in intimacy and sex— both with my partner and myself, and the absence of the desires I once had was greatly missed.

Perimenopause did not bang on the door. It slipped in quietly, like a thief in the night. Less desire, slower arousal, dryness when I always had that wet-wet, and my body not responding the way it used to.

Now, as a Black woman, a Southern Black woman, we are often taught to internalize these changes and never speak of them to anyone, not even your partner, but I decided to investigate them. That is when I found Dr. Nina Ross and her team at Pause + Reset—and everything shifted. Dr. Nina explained that during perimenopause, changes in estrogen, testosterone, and DHEA directly affect libido, arousal, and even the mental desire for sex. And once she had my labs, she at once pointed out that my estrogen and DHEA were off.

Listen sis, those labs are important, do not allow these healthcare professionals make you believe you’re imagining things. Do not tolerate guessing, being told to power through. You need real receipts, i.e., data. The real tea is, “normal” is not universal, and what is best for me might not be best for you. So yeah, your hormone profile is vital to getting help and finding solutions that are specific to you.

One issue that definitely threw me off and that I am sure some of you can relate to—although we do not say it out loud enough is vaginal dryness and discomfort. That ish can quietly kill intimacy. Perimenopause changes vaginal tissue, which makes supporting vaginal health with things like natural DHEA suppositories and vaginal estrogen support important. Honestly, the estrogen, DHEA, and coconut oil suppositories put me on the road back to Pound Town after what seemed like the longest detour ever. It helped restore lubrication, sensitivity, comfort, and made climaxing easy. And just like that, Auntie was back in the game.

REGULATE YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM, SIS! Rest and mind, body, and soul wellbeing is not just a luxury; they are necessities. Now, let me also say this, although perimenopause is doing its thing, the stress of it all added another layer. High cortisol levels from stress decrease your desire even with hormone support. Too much stress will kill arousal every time.

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Another moment that empowered me was unexpected but much needed. During the time I was experiencing my issues I saw Halle Berry speak openly about menopause, sex, and aging—and it really hit home. Halle Berry, That Girl, Her, she was experiencing the same things. I know it happens to all women in some manner. But wow! “Menopause isn’t the end of our vitality. It’s the beginning of a powerful new chapter,” Berry has said while sharing her journey through her wellness platform Respin. Seeing Halle Berry acknowledging this thing and fighting to reclaim her pleasure, confidence, and desire in midlife unapologetically, mattered.

So yes, between Dr. Nina’s holistic, science-backed care and Halle Berry’s visible truth-telling, I stopped seeing my changing libido as a loss and started seeing it as a recalibration. It was not that my sex life disappeared; it was that it evolved. Perimenopause caused me to be more intentional, more informed, and more connected to myself and what I needed to find pleasure.

Just know, Perimenopause requires a holistic approach—medical insight, physical support, and emotional regulation. Understanding what is happening in your body will help you stop blaming yourself and start advocating for yourself and your pleasure.

So, if you are reading this, wondering where your desire went, hear me clearly: you are not broken. You are changing. And with the right support, the road to Pound Town is not a dead end; it leads to this beautiful, pleasure-filled destination.

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