4 Ways To Date With Main Character Energy In 2026
4 Ways To Date With Main Character Energy In 2026, According To Experts
If you’re looking to level up your dating life in 2026, it starts with embracing big “Main Character” energy and learning to date with confidence. The idea is simple but powerful: everyone wants—and deserves—to feel like the main character in their own story, especially when it comes to relationships.
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According to Julia Stein, this mindset is set to define dating culture going into the new year. Dubbed “Main Character Energy Dating,” the trend centers on choosing partners who make you feel valued, prioritized, and truly seen.
“Gen Z has worked out that the right person isn’t necessarily the most conventionally attractive or successful,” said Julia Stein, a Berlin-based sex consultant and relationship advisor at Drachen Toys, during an interview with Vice published Dec. 21. “They want someone who makes them feel seen, valued, and energized rather than anxious or small.”
What does dating with “Main Character” energy look like?
So what does main character energy actually look like in dating? At its core, it’s about being with someone who allows you to fully be yourself. There’s no need to perform, impress, or shrink to fit into their world. Instead, both partners are equally important, mutually supportive, and appreciated for who they authentically are.
“Think about how you feel after spending time with someone: Do you feel more confident? More like yourself? Or do you feel drained, anxious, or like you’re playing a role?” Stein asks. “A partner with Main Character Energy respects your individuality. They don’t need you to shrink or change to make them comfortable. They create space for both of you to grow.”
1. Regulating your nervous system is the first step to dating with “Main Character” energy.
While the phrase may sound self-centered, it’s actually the opposite. Main character energy dating is about emotional balance and shared importance, not ego. A key part of this is paying attention to how your nervous system responds to a partner. Feeling calm, safe, and grounded around someone is often a sign of emotional compatibility, shared Julia Stein.
“Choose someone who regulates your nervous system,” she explained. “If you feel calm and grounded around them rather than on edge, that’s a good sign. Assess whether you feel more like yourself in their presence or if you’re constantly performing.”
2. Avoid drama and chaos.
Another essential rule? Avoid chaos. Constant drama might feel exciting at first, but it rarely leads to healthy, lasting connections.
“Avoid partners who drain your storyline with chaos,” says Stein. “Some people thrive on drama, and while that might feel exciting initially, it exhausts you over time. Look for consistency rather than intensity.”
3. Let your needs be known.
Knowing your relationship needs and communication preferences also plays a major role. As mindful dating coach Roxy Zarrabi notes in her 2022 Psychology Today article, “When you know your relationship needs and communication preferences, you usually become aware early on if someone is not compatible with you.” That awareness saves time, builds confidence, and strengthens trust in yourself.
4. Make a pre-date routine.
Finally, consider creating a pre-date routine to help you feel centered and confident. Whether it’s a playlist, meditation, movement, or a grounding exercise, having a ritual can calm nerves and help you show up fully present. Practicing this routine ahead of time allows your body to associate it with feeling relaxed, so when date night arrives, you’re already stepping into your main character moment.
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