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If you’re used to toxic, passionate, roller coaster relationships, and then you stumble into a good relationship, you might ask about the following dynamics, “Is this normal?”

Here are a few signs to confirm your love is really genuine …

You don’t mind yelling

Have you ever been in a relationship in which you were silent? You never got mad at the guy because…you couldn’t. There wasn’t enough room in the relationship for two hot heads–and he got to fill that role. If you find yourself complaining to your current man, stop and think about this: you’re comfortable speaking up to him. You’re not afraid it will end the relationship or culminate in a blowup. It’s no fun to be mad, but it’s good to feel you are allowed to be so.

You don’t miss him

You go on about your day, you go to work, you have dinner with friends and then you realize, “Oh yeah, I wonder how my man’s doing…” This doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t feel strongly for him. Think about this: have you been in relationships that were so tumultuous that you could barely focus on anything else? If you can live your life and put your man out of your mind sometimes, that means your relationship is not destructive for your life—as many can be.

You forget your own breakdowns

You get totally emotional one night. You cry hysterically for…a silly reason. You’re drunk. You got overemotional about something. You became irrational. You fell asleep. And then, the next day, you forgot it happened. That’s because you’re with a man who accepts you for who you are—he doesn’t freak out because you, well, freak out. He doesn’t make you feel silly for acting silly sometimes. Surely you’ve been with men who you felt humiliated for having a meltdown in front of, humiliated for days. It shouldn’t be that way.

You don’t need sex

If you’re happy to go a few days without sex, that doesn’t mean there’s no passion. Think about other relationships in which, if there was no sex for a few days, you became irritable, frustrated, and felt distant from your man. If that was the case, your relationship was more about sex than anything else. So, if you can go a few days without sex and you’re perfectly happy, and still want to be around your man, then there is something deeper than the physical there.

You’re silent a lot

With some men, if you don’t talk much, you start to get nervous and feel you are drifting apart—that there is no substance to your relationship. But, if you can be silent with your man for even hours, without getting nervous, that means you have a connection that remains even in silence.

Your failures don’t bother you

Have you noticed that, if you got in trouble at work, or didn’t get a project you wanted to be assigned to, you’re not upset by it? If that’s the case, then you’re seriously in love. When you experience real love, you realize how important it is—that it’s more important than most other things. You’re so in love that, time is going by too fast. You don’t want to waste it on being upset over things that won’t matter at the end of your life.

You talk about exes

If you can talk extensively about exes, without anyone feeling uncomfortable or jealous, that means you both feel completely secure in the fact that the other person wants you—just you.

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