Love Without A Limit: Why Women Stay In Bad Relationships

March 24, 2012  |  
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Why doesn’t she just leave him?? We’ve all wondered this about a friend at some point. Perhaps our friends have wondered it about us.  But, a woman’s mind can be a complicated thing. And her apprehensions and thoughts about what life will be like without this man can feel as large and as real as an actual wall keeping her from exiting the relationship.

Here’s why we often stay in bad relationships…

He made you feel special

He’s made you feel lucky that anyone is even with you. He constantly criticizes you, but then he rounds that off with some comment like, “It’s okay. I forgive you, because I am understanding. Not every man would be.” So you get in the mentality that you’re seriously flawed, and lucky to have found the one man who accepts those flaws.

You believe  “this is as good as it gets”

You don’t want to take your chances. No, there’s no passion left, no excitement, no love, and perhaps a little abuse. But, at this point, you’ve put in so much time, you don’t want to risk not finding someone new. You figure you may as well stay with the guy who at least knows what you like on your pizza. You don’t realize that it would be better to be alone, than with the wrong guy.

You don’t realize how bad it is

Sometimes you just don’t realize that what’s happening in your relationship is not okay because you haven’t run it past your friends and gotten the gasps and dropped jaws they would inevitably give you if they knew the truth about your relationship. That’s why you should keep your close friends up to date on details of your relationship. Let them be your eyes when you’re blinded by love (or fear).

You gave up your life

You’ve blown off your friends since getting with this guy. You completely stopped writing on your blog, building your business, or doing whatever you were making progress in before meeting him. You have nothing to return to. You feel like you’ve built yourself a prison in this relationship and there is nowhere else for you to go. Guess what? It will be scary as hell to leave your man and have nothing, have to re-make all your friends and start from zero. But it will be scarier to wake up one morning and realize you spent your life with the wrong man.

He’ll die without you

Or he says he will. Some women like to be the savior type and they get with a guy who is an addict, an alcoholic, a depressive–you name it–and they want to fix him. Of course, these types need professional help and the burden always gets too heavy to carry for the woman. But, if she even suggests leaving, he starts drinking again. Or using. Or even threatens to kill himself…Somber and scary note to women in this situation: this man is not your responsibility. Alert his family of his threats, and his therapist if he has one. But know that, no matter what happens when you leave, it was not your fault. He has been looking his whole life for reasons to mess up and hurt himself. If you weren’t the reason, it would have been something else.

You don’t know what else is out there

Sometimes it’s as simple as he’s the only man you’ve ever seriously been with. You got with him in college, and you don’t realize it does get better. You think that dating a man who plans a date with you maybe once a month is normal. You think the fact that you never talk about anything that personal is normal. You think the fact that he only likes two sexual positions is normal. But trust me, if you just got one taste of the dating world, you’d never go back to that deadbeat boyfriend who never grew up–and it was because you didn’t ask him to.

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