It’s the most painful thing: falling for someone who is taken. Not only can you not have them, but you have to see them with someone else. And if you don’t see them, I know you’re picturing them together. There are many different ways the scenario of loving a taken man can go down. And you have to navigate it carefully.
Here are some tips to ease the pain just a bit..
Leave him alone
This is the most simple one so let’s get it out of the way —leave it alone. Go out with other men. The feelings are still rough but, the action you have to take is simple. Walk away.
Don’t fall for the fantasy
No one is perfect. The taken man you want might also wants you back. But he might be afraid to leave his current relationship since he doesn’t know how things will go with you. If this is the case, not only is it not your responsibility to make a move, it is not your right. No matter how many things the man says that make it seem like he is dying for you to make a move, don’t. Why?…
He can’t have his cake and eat it too
The guy needs to be willing to give up the relationship with the other woman and take a risk on you, knowing it may or may not work out. But he cannot sit in the comfort of his current relationship as he sees where things go with you. He needs to be a man and be willing to take the risk of getting into something that may or may not work out.
Recognize the game
Some men worry that their girlfriend is not stable enough to handle a breakup. They worry it will throw her into a depression and her life will fall apart. Let me tell you something about these men. They are nice. But they are too nice. They don’t get what they want in life for fear of hurting someone’s feelings. If you dated him, how do you know he wouldn’t just stay with you even after he fell out of love with you?
Don’t tell everyone
You need to tell someone—it’s eating you up inside. But, if you’re serious about ever being with the guy, it can’t be a known fact amongst your friends that you want him. Tell your very best friend who you can trust, your mom or your sister. But, if you casually let it be known to the world and you do get with him, you might get the reputation as a manipulative boyfriend stealer.
Don’t give in
The moment you’ve been waiting for. You’ve pined after this guy for months, maybe years, and he acts. He kisses you. He tries to sleep with you. Hurray! Oh wait…just one problem. He is still with his current girlfriend. Look—a cheater is a cheater is a cheater. He needed to have left his girlfriend before even touching you. I don’t care how much you think he did it because he was so passionately in love with you that he just couldn’t help himself. That there is the issue. He can’t help himself. And he will probably cheat on you.
Don’t keep your enemies close
Do not, under any circumstances, befriend the guy’s girlfriend! You may do this and hardly understand, in the midst of all your confusing emotions, why you are doing it. You may do it because it lets you be closer to him. But it is absolutely the cruelest thing one woman could do to another—gain her trust, to betray it in the biggest way. She isn’t your friend now and she doesn’t need to be.