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I’m sure you’re probably thinking, what exactly is a temporary friend? It’s not the usual, unreliable girlfriend, but much worse. Do you watch Basketball Wives?

If you do, I’m sure you know the character of Royce. She’s the dancer turned wannabe-Broadway actress and mother of Dwight Howard’s child. When the show started, she was a hot mess, but as it has progressed over the years, she’s come to display herself as one of the strongest of women and personalities on the show (though she could use a stylist…). She doesn’t ride with phony people and she doesn’t mind putting them in their place if they start something (I think Evelyn realized that when she tried to get crunk with a glass). Maybe that’s why when any of the other women on the show get kicked out of the “Cool Kids” group (tired a** Evelyn, Shaunie and possibly Tami at this point), they find themselves trying to meet up for dinner with Royce to make a amends (hey Suzie!). I’m pretty sure Jennifer Williams and Royce will be sharing drinks very soon this season…

While there is nothing wrong with mending fences or trying to get close with new people, but it’s corny when you do so because everybody else you used to kick it with can’t stand you anymore. I think we’ve all encountered this kind of chick at least once: she’s someone you knew in high school, the friend of one of your friends, a chick you met like ONCE who knows your people and wanted to exchange numbers. She might have talked ish about you at one time or just really rarely paid you mind. You might hang out with them a few times, but if Suzie and reality has taught us anything, it’s that when they can get back in where they fit in, they’ll likely try and throw you under the bus or go MIA. They’re not folks you want to associate with for long. Temporary friends of convenience. Watch out for these chicks:

They Call and Talk to You Like They’ve Known You Forever

So word on the street is that ___ fell out with her best friend of five years, and like most of your friends, you’re surprised. However, you’re ten times more surprised when you see their name on your phone and realize how random it is that they’re trying to call when you’ve never really been all that close. You pick up the phone and they’re so cheerful, talking about how they just realized you were back in town or thought about you randomly and thought that you should both hang out sometime. Interestingly enough, they don’t bring up the well-known end to their friendship over the phone. That is, they don’t bring it up…yet…

You Get Invited to Things at the Last Minute

As the temporary homie, this out-of-the-blue friend wants to invite you to dinner, a work event, to a party and everything in between, but they always do so at the very last minute. Literally like hours before, and most likely because it was an event they would have took their ex-friend to, forgot about it, and now need someone to fill their spot. Hello, you! You show interest initially, but when you find out that the bar crawl they just invited you to is going to intrude upon your plans to comfortably sit on the couch, drink wine and watch “Modern Family” for the night, you’ve got to shut them down.

They Reminisce About Their Old Friend and Need Advice

NOW they bring up the big falling out! You decide to meet them for drinks, and they finally address the elephant in the room, but then they don’t stop…You pretty much become the free psychiatrist, and they spend most of the evening talking about themselves and their issues. You basically have to be the one to reinforce what they already knew they needed to do: “You guys should really just sit down and talk about everything.” Yeah, you know what to do next time they call: play all the way crazy.

They Also Bad Mouth Their Ex-Friends

If they’re not seeking sympathy, they’re trying to make their ex-bestie look like the most cold-hearted b***h out there. They bring out all the dirty laundry you didn’t know, and most importantly, that you didn’t need to know in an effort to possibly change your opinion of them. They might even think by bashing the person around you (if you weren’t very fond of their ex-homie), it might make you and this temporary friend closer and provide them with an ally. I think we’re all clear that it’s a pretty petty thing to do, especially if they’re to ever reconcile, but the temporary, hurt, temporary “friend” just wants someone to rant to. Don’t let it be you.

They Want to Do Everything With You

So you did one or two things with this person, and now they want to do everything with you, show up at all the same events, call you to go to that same club you hit up with them last week and you literally just want to go MIA from them. This new “friend” really doesn’t have anything but time on their hands since the girlfriends they once followed are nowhere to be found. You didn’t mind entertaining them that one time, but now you start feeling as though you’ve got a shadow on your hands.


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