Naive Bliss: Are You Blind to the Signs of Trouble in Your Relationship?

February 22, 2012  |  


I was having a conversation with a woman earlier in the week and she said something that caught my attention. She said that she’s not sure if her boyfriend is cheating on her, but as long as it doesn’t “come to her face,” she’s okay. I refrained from saying  anything because I could tell that this woman was living in what I call “naïve bliss.” What exactly did she mean “come to her face?” Does that mean that as long as there are no women keeping him out at night or constantly calling his phone then she doesn’t need to be concerned? Or as long as she doesn’t find out about his other relations, she is okay with living in denial?

I define naïve bliss as a state that a person lives in when they are in a relationship with blind eyes. This person may see signs that something might be going on in their relationship, but they choose to ignore it. They choose to ignore it because they would rather not deal with the issue or its consequences. They would rather keep their relationship as is. They are content with the way things are going and have no desire to shake things up.

There are countless reasons why people choose to live in this state. It may be because they are scared of losing the person and would rather not cause a problem. Or it may be due to the fact that they are extremely passive and do not want to deal with anything that is not directly brought to their attention. Regardless of the reason, this person is still making a conscious decision to live in a state of denial about what may or may not be going on in his/her relationship.

In your relationship you may start to get the feeling that something just isn’t right. Women have been known to have a sixth sense, it is called intuition.  Are you better off not knowing? Some women may feel that by them choosing to ignore signs of trouble, they can go on living in this happy relationship without interference from any outside drama. But can you really be in a happy, fulfilling relationship if you are choosing to live in “naïve bliss”? Is the saying true, what you don’t know can’t hurt you?

The woman I mentioned earlier was perfectly content not knowing what her boyfriend was doing outside of their relationship. In her eyes, as long as there no foreign strands of hair in the bathroom or random late night phone calls, she was happy. Whether or not you choose to ignore the fact that your partner might be cheating doesn’t change his actions. I am definitely not one of those women who checks a man’s phone or stalks his social media networks. But, on the other hand, I also can’t ignore a gut feeling. You don’t have to become the modern day Carmen San Diego, but maybe taking a closer look at your relationship and significant other wouldn’t be such a bad idea. This feeling you get does not always have to mean that your partner is cheating. Maybe he is pulling away from the relationship. His behavior might be changing and you might be too blind to see it.

I had a friend in college who was always living in a state of naïve bliss. At one point I witnessed the guy that she was involved with engaging in “activities” with another female. So I did what any good girlfriend would do and I told her. She refused to believe to me, blaming it on the fact that I may have misinterpreted what I saw. After our conversation, I never brought the situation up again. It was clear that the only way she would believe anything is if she saw it with her own two eyes. She went on happy in their relationship for another 2 weeks after that, until she came face to face with his infidelity.

I am firm believer that a woman’s gut is her greatest tool.  Whenever I have ignored my gut, I have paid for the consequences. I may not go snooping through my man’s pockets looking for stray phone numbers but I also won’t be blind to what may be right in front of my face. Every woman owes it to herself to be honest and forthcoming and find out what is really going on in their relationship. It may be nothing, or it may be an arising issue that you should be aware of.

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