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friendship issues

Source: Richard Drury / Getty

Trust, honesty, and supportiveness: those are some of the top desired qualities in a friend, says research out of the University of Pennsylvania. If you think common interests play a bigger factor in a successful friendship, then you’d agree with the study out of the National Center for Biotechnology Information that says that is also very important for friendship chemistry. But all of these traits will come to a head when it comes time to execute on a friendship. You can have 100 percent overlapping interests with someone and make plans to go to a museum exhibit you’re both thrilled about…but that won’t be enough if that person regularly flakes on you at the last minute. How about honesty? That’s supposed to be enough to carry a friendship along. But probably not, if what the person is honest about is that they double booked you for that day, and actually cannot meet you for lunch. And you’re already sitting at the restaurant.

It’s common to hear people say that the fun stuff like a shared sense of humor or common interests are what make a friendship great. However, the older you get, you realize that you can’t have any fun with someone who doesn’t respect your time. You might even begin to state “reliability” as a top friendship trait. You even learn to pursue friendships with those who are reliable, even if the chemistry isn’t explosive, over those with whom you really hit it off but…they constantly disrespect your time. So on that note, here are signs that someone doesn’t respect your time. They can easily be translated to platonic, romantic, and even professional relationships.


They only RSVP at the last moment

When you ask this person to do something, they always respond with, “Can I let you know closer to the date?” They may even ask, “Can I let you know day of?” You might say yes, so as to not seem pushy. But the reality is that, if this person can give you a firm No, you’d just go ahead and make other plans for the day. Instead, you have to now take a gamble, and hold time for them that they are not holding for you. They may tell you day-of that they cannot make it, at which point it’s too late for you to make new plans/invite someone else.

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