Baggage from a Broken Home: How Your Childhood Affects Your Adult Life

January 5, 2012  |  

By R.Louis

People always say that your first examples in life are your parents. From a young age we look up to our parents for guidance. A parent’s behavior sets the trend for how you act and how you approach life. We may not always realize how much of an impact our parents’ behavior has on us, but it does. Even middle-aged adults can still be brought to tears by the memory of a harsh word from a parent.

The lack of a parent, for example a father or mother who wasn’t around, affects the child. Your parents are your first emotional connection or in some cases lack there of.

For example, if we want to look at reality TV, Olivia on the show Love & Hip-Hop has had emotional issues with her mother. She had a heart to heart on this past episode with her cousin Jackie. Olivia’s mother has said hurtful things to Olivia over the years. She has also written her hurtful letters. Those experiences still affect Olivia to this day. She claims that her experiences with her mother are part of the reason why she can’t express herself when she needs to. Olivia is a grown woman but at the end of the day her mother can still get under her skin. Even Chris Brown blamed his violent actions on the fact that he saw domestic violence in his home. Only a parent can bring you to that emotional and sometimes dark place.

I always thought that the fact that my parents went through a rough marriage and got a divorce did not affect me. Because I was older when my parents were divorced so it didn’t hit me as hard as children who saw their parents get divorced at 6 or 7. Everyone goes through their own experience when dealing with their emotional problems. Sometimes coming from a broken home can affect how you look at relationships. I know people who say that they would never get married in fear of getting divorced. I also know people who have no trust in men which translates into relationship problems.

Working through family issues can be the hardest kind because you need to address the source of the problem ( your parents) before you can fix the problem within yourself. What woman wants to sit down and tell their mother how she hurt her? What son wants to look into their father’s eyes and explain how his actions have affected him? It is not a pleasant situation. It may not change anything in regards to your relationship with your parents, but letting it all go can be the first step in healing for you. In order to have happy and healthy relationships we need to look into our past and see what influence our parents have had on who we are today. It can be a very emotional road, but you will be all the better for it.

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