From the outside looking it, it appeared that Yandy and Mendeecees were able to weather the storm of his incarceration and come out unscathed. But in a new episode of the show “Couple’s Retreat,” it’s clear that that is far from the case. And after just a little bit of prodding, AJ Johnson was able to determine that the issue of prison and all that happened while Mendeecees was there, is still a very raw and sore spot for the couple.
See how the conversation went down below.
AJ Johnson: Any insecurities between you two?
Mendeecees: No, none.
AJ Johnson: Prison, is that an insecurity?
Yandy: I feel like when he was locked up, I was locked up.
Mendeecees: But you ain’t email for two months.
Yandy: Yeah but that’s because I was talking to you everyday.
Mendeecees: No you weren’t. Don’t do that.
Yandy: Every single day. Three times a day.
Mendeecees: You’re lying. You don’t even get that many minutes.
Yandy: I spoke to you everyday.
Mendeecees: No, you did not. Not everyday.
Yandy: Every single day. And if I didn’t talk to you, it was a problem and then it would be, ‘You know you don’t have to do this.’
And for me, that felt like don’t negate what I have been doing. Don’t negate me making sure you and the kids are good. Don’t negate the calls I did pick up.
In the confessional, Yandy says this is not the first time Mendeecees has expressed some irritation about the phone call/email situation. Yandy said while she normally brushes it off, now she’s frustrated. ‘Do you understand what my life is like? I’m raising two babies. I’m running five companies. But you want to talk about emails and calls. Talk about how these bills are going to get paid. I don’t have time to be sending emails and letters.
Back in the scene, AJ Johnson points out the discrepancy in their stories. Yandy believes they spoke everyday and Mendeecees does not. There’s obviously tension around the issue. She says the bigger issue is what more did you want that you didn’t get?
Mendeecees: I was kind of holding resentment because I said, the moment I step out of here, she’ll be blowing my phone up every five seconds. So for me, I started to feel like I was put on a shelf and you’ll play with me when it’s time for me to be free. I wasn’t going to allow no one to treat me any different from me being free or me being incarcerated. Treat me the same. Don’t mishandle me like that, not when I gave her the opportunity. If you ever get tired or this becomes too much, you’re free. I think it would have been selfish of me to try to hold her in a relationship that she didn’t want to be in . Anything can happen. People can meet people, fall in love. I didn’t want to force nobody to go through something like that with me.
Yandy: The fact that you always said, ‘You don’t have to do this.’ That was offensive. You would say, ‘You could leave.’ And it would be the simplest of things like I missed your phone call, I didn’t pick up or I didn’t email you. That made me feel like it wasn’t that much of a fight for you. It was easy to let me go. Nobody that’s your woman wants to feel like they’re easier to get over.
Mendeecees: I mean, if I could deal with my mom leaving me, and that’s the trauma, I feel like I could deal with anybody leaving me.
Yandy: I want for better or for worse. That’s what I give.
Mendeecees: That’s the same thing I signed up for, right?
Yandy: Nobody wants to feel like they’re easy to get over. I think you had a lot of time on your hands. And I think with that time, I did a damn good job. I say that to you all the time, if the roles were reversed, would you hold me down.
Mendeecees: If the shoes were on the other foot, I don’t know what I would be able to do.
Yandy: Hmph. And that’s a problem.
Back in the confessional, Yandy was in tears. ‘So Mendeecees finally admitted that he doesn’t know if he would have stayed if the roles were reversed and that’s so hurtful because people have said to me, ‘You’re doing all this. Would he do that for you?’ And I’ve always come back with, ‘Yeah he would. We love each other.’ But to hear him sit in my face and be like I don’t know, that’s so unfair.
I get Mendeecees was being truthful with Yandy. It was the right thing to do. But that certainly doesn’t make this revelation t easier to hear. It’s hurtful to know that as critical as Mendeecees was of Yandy’s behavior while he was away, he doesn’t even know if he would have been capable of the same thing. So what’s with all the criticism, bruh? Even in your imagination of how hard this might have been you couldn’t do it.
But the depth behind that statement came out. Mendeecees feels like he was abandoned by his own mother. It’s still a wound he hasn’t healed. And while he was incarcerated he placed that same burden on Yandy. And that’s the real reason why a lack of emails bothered him so much.
It’s a lot. And certainly a lot to consider in terms of the future of their union.
You can watch a portion of this conversation in the video below.
What do you make of Mendeecees’ comments?