You don’t do the deep dive
When you do chat, you ask questions like “How is work?” and “How is your family?” If you live in different parts of the world, you even ask about the weather. You go over the very surface-level topics to essentially make sure the other is still alive, married, in the same industry, in the same house, etc. But you do not discuss deeper topics, like revelations you’ve had about your passion in life, your emotional status, your breakthroughs in therapy, things like that. You and this friend have very little knowledge of the deeper inner workings of each other’s psyches and feelings.