Over 32 million Americans use online dating apps, and globally, we make up about a third of all online dating app users. And how many of us know someone who is fond of making connections by sliding through DMs? Having multiple ways to meet and communicate with potential matches online is both a gift and sometimes a curse. So much is detected when we meet someone in person. You can just pick up on a vibe that either works for you or…doesn’t. It might be their tone of voice, their facial expressions, their body language, or how they interact with other people who are around. You don’t get any of that when all communication happens through a keyboard. But, the existence of dating apps and social media that puts us in touch with one another makes it much easier for those looking for love (or something else) to find someone looking for the same thing. Communicating over the Internet gives us a chance of pacing things a bit slower, which can be good. But it can also cause some bumps in the road, and even make some connections that could have been great fizzle out prematurely. We spoke with Damona Hoffman, a TextNow dating expert and host of the Dates & Mates Podcast (pictured below), about when and how online dating falls flat.
Online communication is tough overall
Hoffman says that any form of communication that isn’t in real life poses many of the same risks as online dating. For example, that could mean chatting on an app, but also messaging with someone on Facebook or just talking over text. In fact, it’s the latter that she thinks causes most issues. “It’s easy for people to blame dating apps for the downfall of dating society as we know it, but I actually see texting as having a bigger impact on the way we build in that early phase of dating,” she says. “It’s really changed the way that we communicate. The way you talk to someone and pace the relationship in that early phase is absolutely vital to the way things play out over time.”