#RelationshipGoals: Do You Always Need To Feel A Spark To Like Someone?

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Source: #RelationshipGoals / iOne Digital

Continued from last week.

It didn’t take long for Christian and me to start sleeping with one another regularly. At that point, it was all I could handle and all I wanted. He’d always want to come over to my apartment, even though I’d nudge him towards us just going to his. “Your place is so much bigger than mine. That’s a turn on,” I joked in a text.

“There’s too many people here, or else I’d invite you over. Don’t be difficult. Let me taste that…” Of course Christian finished that text, but I’m just going to leave a little to your imagination.

Christian kinda knew me. He knew when I was being difficult, which was often. I didn’t know what it was, but something about him rubbed me the wrong way, even though sex with him was honest to goodness the best sex I’ve ever had in my life. Christian most certainly knew my body.

But I was determined to reject this man. Somewhere in our connection, even with that D and tongue that could send the goddess Athena into a spiral, something with Christian wasn’t clicking with me, wasn’t sitting right with me. I couldn’t put my finger on it. I wasn’t even necessarily looking for the click, you know that feeling you get when you know you genuinely like someone. Some call it a spark, but for me, before I even get to the spark, I’ve got to have the initial click – or else I won’t put forth effort.

I started resenting Christian and feeling disgusted and annoyed. I started being really mean to him. I did everything I could to try and control it, but when I was around him, especially when he came over my house, everything he did bothered me. There was always a connection between us, a definite spark, but I tried to avoid his orbit. And after giving in and floating around in it, I wanted off the train. But I still wanted to hold on to the option of riding it.

Christian messaged me that he was on his way over. Because he lived so close, that meant I only had about 20 minutes before he was ringing my doorbell. I started taking shots in the hopes that it would free my inhibitions and allow me to at least be gentle or warm towards Christian.

I lit some candles and made sure everything was sex-ready. You know, all lotioned up, condoms in place, towels spread out, another one handy, etc. I was puffing a join and, wearing lingerie when Christian arrived.

Excitedly, that man devoured me as soon as he walked into the door. That’s how I liked it. Minimal interaction and just straight to it. After my 50-12th orgasm, Christian went to smoke a cigarette on my patio. He came back into the room with a glass in hand.

“Oh, you helped yourself?” I asked.

“Well, the host didn’t quite offer me anything to drink,” He kissed me on the cheek.

“Did you open my Crown Royal?” I asked him, smelling the brown liquor on his lips.

“Yeah, I hope you don’t mind. I was thirsty.” Christian sipped from the cup.

I didn’t mind, but I did mind. It irritated me that every time Christian came over, he made his way into my liquor without asking. And this time, he opened a bottle. “I mind. But whatever at this point. You’re always doing some mooching headass stuff Christian.”

“Always? Mooching? Wow D. Tell me how you really feel,” Christian said. I couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic or not.

“You annoy me. I wish we could just f-ck and that’s it. But you want me to know all about your family, your kids and I just don’t want to be involved. I don’t want you up in my house opening up bottles and smoking all my mary jane and making me pay for it if I get it from you. I want your D without you, Christian.” I couldn’t stop any of the words from escaping my lips.

I watched Christian’s heart sink in his face, “I’m gonna head out before I say something you’ll hate me for because I know I’m still gonna eat that p-ssy later down the line.” Christian got dressed and packed his bag in silence. By the time he got to the door, he turned around and said, “You always being single made no sense to me. I get it now. I still love you D, but damn.”

When I tell you that man’s words stung. Woo! Christian and I are still very much friends. We even still hook up from time to time, but his words still sting from time to time too. He had a point, but then again, I was looking for that spark. Christian’s D had the spark, but I still don’t want the man attached to it. Are we playing a dangerous game with each other by continuing to hook up?

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