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2016 BET Awards - Nissan Red Carpet

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Claudia Jordan has a reputation of speaking openly and honestly, often calling the names when it comes to the abuse enacted by Black men.

She speaks about toxic masculinity and abuse on her Fox Soul show, “Cocktails With Queens,” recently revealing the fact that she testified against boxer Mike Tyson in a 1991 rape trial.

In 2014, on the “Rickey Smiley Morning Show,” she shared that she had been in an abusive relationship before in response to sport commentator Stephen A. Smith suggesting women shouldn’t provoke men in domestic violence situations.

Unfortunately, it’s a topic that has far too many examples and anecdotes.

And yesterday on “Cocktails With Queens” felt the need to call the names.

The conversation was in response to Megan Thee Stallion finally calling Tory Lanez’s name as the man who shot her in both of her feet.

Jordan asked her fellow panelists, Syleena Johnson, LisaRaye, and Vivica Fox if they had ever chosen to protect a man at the expense of themselves.

After Syleena shared her story, Claudia shared one of her own.

“I had an incident four years ago. I was seeing this guy. He lived with me at the time. He lied about everything. He said he had a car, he didn’t have a car. He said he had property in Atlanta, he didn’t have property in Atlanta. He said his teeth were real, his teeth weren’t real. He said he was seven years younger than he really was. And y’all have seen me with him on the red carpet. 2016 BET. Catch that tea.

He’s on a show right now WE tv with another reality star.

But I always had doubts about his age. His wallet was on the couch and I felt like he wasn’t telling me the truth. I look at the wallet and I saw he was lying to me by seven years. I was like, ‘Why are you lying?’ He was trying to be a rapper still at 40 something years old.”

LisaRaye says that she can’t find him. So Claudia just let the cat out of the bag.

“He’s with Phaedra now on “Marriage Boot Camp.”

Syleena: Ooo, yes. Tell the whole tea.

Vivica Fox: No way!

Claudia: We got into an argument. I grabbed his phone and he was wrestling it out of my hand. And this is the first time I’ve ever said this because you know what, I got inspired by Meg Thee Stallion. I’ve been holding this for four years now. And he body slammed me into a toilet. Broke it in half. It cracked the porcelain and water went everywhere. I kept that to myself. I never called the police on him. I stayed in bed for four days with back spasms.

We protect these Black men and guess what, is there a thank you? Is there a ‘I’ll get help.’ Is there a ‘I’ll never do it again?’ No, there’s nothing. There’s an arrogance when we protect them. So f*ck them.  I’m not protecting anyone that hurts me. If you rape one of my friends, if you hit one of my friends, if you hit me, I’m not making any excuse. It ain’t her fault for what she had on. It ain’t her fault for yelling at you. If her yelling at you makes you square up on a woman then f*ck you. You’re a h*e a$$ b*tch a$$ man.”

Sadly, Jordan was not the only woman on the panel with a story. Syleena shared one of her own.

“I have been in a predicament where—if you’re in relationship with a man and y’all are fighting, it’s domestic violence but in the hood, it’s fighting. It’s really domestic violence. I was in a relationship where I had to hide from my mother the fact that we were fighting. Then I had to call the police on him and I didn’t tell nobody in the family that I had called the police. He went to jail and everything. I kept it on the low so that my family wouldn’t know, so his family wouldn’t know so it wouldn’t reflect badly on him.

When you’re in an abusive relationship you don’t know yet how that abuse is affecting you really until you get out. While you’re in it, you’re still addicted to the abuse. You’re still blaming yourself.”

Syleena later shared that she also struggled with not having many places to turn. She said she ran to a friends house after an altercation with her then boyfriend with blood on her shirt. But her friend couldn’t help her because she had just got done fighting with her boyfriend as well.

The occurrence is all too common.

This also may explain the reason why Medina was one of the men who sat and watched as Vado choked  Tahiry on “Marriage Boot Camp…”

You can watch the women discuss the protection of Black men in the video below.


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