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NAACP Image Awards Special Screening Of OWN's "The Book Of John Gray"

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The saying goes that once a cheater, always a cheater. I don’t know that that’s really the case. But for Pastor John Gray, it seems to be that way.

Vlogger and self described “entertainment troll” Tasha K., dropped some pretty damning receipts of Pastor Gray this weekend proving that his extramarital relationships have not ceased.

After declaring his wife Aventer a coat, the couple’s condemnation of that “strange woman,” and laying prostrate in front of Bishop T.D. Jakes, it seems that Gray has backslide into the arms of another woman named Mary.

In a series of videos, Gray records a series of videos allegedly to a woman named Mary.

In one of them, Gray is wearing a mask—showing that this relationship is as recent as the global pandemic.

In a video of him boarding what looks like a private jet, Gray says:

“You got an hour to get ready. We’re going to Cabo. So, bring your mask and your favorite two-piece. Because we out.”

In another video, recorded in his car, Gray requests images from Mary.

“You know what you can do? You can send the Cancun pic or pics from Cancun. That would serve to satisfy the fake bet which you’ve already been compensated for. That and brisket. How about that? Your own brisket. And we’re doing baked beans with the hamburger meat, mashed potatoes, we can do some fresh corn. I don’t know if any of these are vegetables or sides that you want. But if you want other sides, all you’ve got to do is let me know. Chef John!”

But despite knowing his way around the kitchen, the most damning video comes when Gray, once again in his car, taps his son to not only participate in conversations with the mistress but to do so at the expense of his mother.

“She does not and you know more than most. I speak out of honor because honor covers. But when things hit the fan, it is my hope that you will cover me in prayer. Ain’t that right, son? What do you eat every day?”

His son responds, “Pizza.”

John Gray: “Pizza…in the oven from Digiorno’s because that’s what you have to do to feed when ain’t nobody cooking. And that’s the truth, Ruth. But I saw what you did there, Mary. I saw what you did.”

As if the videos weren’t enough, there are also corresponding text messages that speak to “the bet” and the compensation Gray referenced in the videos.

I wish I could tell you that I was surprised to learn that at the very best, Gray is still maintaining inappropriate relationships with women who are not his wife. And at the worse, he’s still cheating.

But I’m not surprised by that. I don’t know what John and Aventer did in the privacy of their own home to heal from his past indiscretions. But publicly, their message to their church–and subsequently the rest of us– was that John was insecure and fell into the snare set by a “strange woman.”

There seemed to be a lack of accountability on his part. And people who fail to fully acknowledge their negative behavior, often don’t understand or care about the ramifications of their actions and are likely to repeat them.

Given Gray’s level of power and influence in the Black faith community and the fact that he suffered no consequences for his first “inappropriate relationship,” I can see why he felt he had no incentive to do better.

It’s disappointing and sad. And I truly feel for Aventer. But what it is not, is surprising.

What really gets me about the release of these videos though, is the inclusion of their son. That speaks to a level of disdain and disrespect that I hadn’t necessarily considered.

I don’t know how a man of the cloth could use a woman’s child to disparage her to his mistress and then claim that he speaks with honor.

I don’t have to tell you the pressure Black, southern, Christian women feel to be good wives and mothers to their family members. In fact, the Grays spoke about this very concept when they appeared on “Red Table Talk.” Add to that being the first lady of a church, Gray knew exactly how deeply that knife would cut.

That level of disdain is a far bigger issue than him cheating. The man seems to be intentionally hurting his wife for the sake of a woman who didn’t care enough about him or their relationship not to expose intimate and embarrassing details of their correspondence.

Given what we know about Gray’s last scandal, there seems to be a pattern. These women are only attaching themselves to him for the perks: the money he gives them and the money they may make when they sell their story to the highest bidder.

And it’s interesting that with his history, he’s not able to discern that.

Furthermore, if he was so concerned about his children’s nutrition, it seems from his car time talks with Mary that he has the skills to help out. The brisket and all the sides Chef John bragged about could have been prepared for his children. But instead, they went to Mary.

Not only is he cheating, using his son to bash their mother to the mistress, he’s taking the time he does have to spend with his family—to prepare meals for another woman.

That’s vile.

I also want to call your attention to the fact that the same language he used for his wife, the coat, was the same analogy he offered Mary. He hoped that when things hit the fan, she would cover him. It makes you wonder how many coats does John Gray need? What is the benefit of being the wife when a mistress is afforded the same position? But more importantly, while John Gray is covered by at least two women, who covers Aventer from the shame of his repeated foolishness?

In the revelation of this latest scandal, I would hope that at the very least, Gray has not been spending church funds to tip Ms. Mary or hop on flights around the world, in the midst of a pandemic.

Because perhaps then he’ll be forced to take the accountability he’s so deftly avoided.


Veronica Wells is the culture editor at She is also the author of “Bettah Days” and the creator of the website NoSugarNoCreamMag

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