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Changing your name when you get married is such an old tradition. Many newlyweds just do it on instinct, without really thinking what it will mean, or what will come after. When my husband and I filed for our marriage license, I remember being surprised by how small and seemingly informal the name change box was. It just popped up at the bottom and asked if I’d like to change my name at that time, and to what I’d like to change it. “That’s it?” I thought. “I could just fill that in right there and I’d suddenly have a new name?” I didn’t do it at the time. It all came at me so quickly. I never even realized I had a huge attachment to my last name until I was presented with the opportunity to change it, in an instant. Honestly, I even have a complicated relationship with my last name. It’s my father’s and, though my dad and I are good now, we have a complicated past. He cheated on my mom and I didn’t talk to him for quite some time. I despise his new girlfriend, who is pretty open about just being with him for his money. And how she tells people she has his last name, though she doesn’t. You’d think maybe I’d be quick to get rid of the name. But there’s a lot that happens when you change your name, emotionally and practically. Here’s what to expect after changing your last name.
Imposter syndrome
You may go through a brief period of imposter syndrome. It could last a year or a couple of years. It happens any time somebody takes on a new title, like when someone becomes a doctor. Saying, “Hi I’m Dr. so-and-so” feels false at first. It can feel like you haven’t quite yet “earned” it, or something like that. The same happens when you take someone’s last name.
