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2019 Soul Train Awards - Arrivals

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Before the beginning of this new season of “T.I. and Tiny: Friends and Family Hustle,” there were some indications that there were some unresolved issues between Tommicus Walker and his wife LeToya Luckett.

Luckett suggested that based on the current state of their relationship and the fact that Tommi had just lost his mother, she didn’t know if now was the best time to bring another child into the marriage. And  after last night’s episode, we were all able to see more clearly exactly what she meant.

LeToya and Tommi went to a counseling session where they spoke about the behaviors that have the most detrimental effect on their marriage. Tommi said that from LeToya’s point of view, she would say that he’s rude, has a direct tone and doesn’t use kind words.

And LeToya said that from Tommi’s point of view, LeToya doesn’t cook enough, she’s not as patient when they have arguments and lastly and most importantly that she doesn’t set aside time for them to be alone as a couple.

The counselor asked them to rank how disruptive each behavior was to the relationship. While LeToya thought that her not prioritizing alone time was only mildly disruptive, Tommi ranked it far detrimental. When the counselor asked her to speak about that, she said:

“I do feel that because of our busy schedules and the fact that Gianna is still in the bed with us, it’s made it more difficult for us to have one on one time. I do feel that when you aren’t kind and when you are aggressive in your words, it shuts me down. All of me down.” LeToya suggestively points to her downward to illustrate the lack of sexual desire as a result of the way he speaks to her.

The counselor wanted to explore that point further. He asked Tommi, is it true that there are times when he’s been aggressive and unkind.

Tommi became defensive. “Both of us. I wouldn’t just focus on me…”

The counselor interrupted him to say, they were just speaking about him in this moment.

In the confessional Tommi shared that that moment annoyed him. He felt they were getting too personal and that his wife was “throwing stones that shouldn’t be thrown.”

Tommi shut down. When the counselor offered Tommi an opportunity to respond, he said he didn’t want to…in the midst of therapy.

The session ends shortly after that.

Let’s pause here. Because there is a lot more bad behavior to address but here is a good place to stop.

I understand that most people don’t iron out their marital issues with the whole nation watching. And there’s something to be said about the effectiveness of such an exercise. But, since he and LeToya agreed to do this reality show and also agreed to film their therapy sessions, it’s only right that they use the time to honestly speak about the issues in their marriage in an attempt to address and heal them.

Being in therapy and not wanting to talk about your issues is not only counterproductive, it’s an insult to LeToya who is trying to show that she’s willing to work on it. Sadly, Tommi’s pride prevented him from gaining any headway in the relationship.

And once the therapy session was over, things didn’t get any better.

As they’re driving away, LeToya seems to be happy with the information they learned during the session. Tommi doesn’t share the sentiment. Instead, he has a question about whether or not LeToya takes him for granted.

Shortly after that, Tommi drops a bomb on her saying that they’re headed to the airport because he’s going to Dallas to see his daughter Madison.

Naturally, as his wife, LeToya wonders when Tommi was going to share the news of his trip with her.

He says, “You make me aware of stuff, day of, all the time…My plan is to go and spend time with my other daughter. I don’t know if you care about doing that or not.”

The suggestion that LeToya doesn’t care about his other daughter is offensive.

Tommi continues, “You’re a great mother when you and Madison interact.”

LeToya took it as a bit of a jab. “You make my relationship with Madison conditional and that’s not true.”

Tommi felt like she was inaccurately summarizing what he’d just said, “Who said that?!”

He says that she’s exaggerating. She tells him these are feelings and he’s not acknowledging them.

He said she runs with stuff so fast. LeToya said, “If anybody’s running honey, you’re running,” referencing the fact that Tommi is literally on the way to the airport for a trip his wife had no idea about.

LeToya says, “Your priority always has been Madison.”

Tommi: It sure was.

LeToya: And I’m not. Which is probably why I have feelings that I do because I’ve been fighting for my husband, fighting for a place in your life, fighting for our relationship, fighting for our marriage.

As she’s saying all of this, Tommi is softly saying “stop it.”

When LeToya finishes, he says, “You ain’t been fighting a damn thing. Whether that’s running your mouth to make sh*t sound good.”

When they get to the airport, LeToya tells Tommi that she thinks he should stay there so they can continue discussing their issues. He tells her he’s getting on the plane and she can continue to “do you. Like you always been doing. Do you.”

He gets out the car, grabs his bag and says, “I’ll holler at you.”

When LeToya tells him to have a safe flight and that she loves him, he doesn’t say anything.

It was a tense interaction. It was uncomfortable to watch it as a bystander so I can only imagine how dejected LeToya felt watching her husband board a flight when they weren’t on the best of terms. And according to their conversation this wasn’t the first time he’s left in the middle of an argument.

Tommi is in a weird place in his life right now. He’s adjusting to raising a new baby with his new-ish wife and most importantly the loss of his mother.

He’s adjusting. But in this transition, the last thing he needs to do is allow his pride and poor communication to alienate a woman who seems invested in working on their relationship.

It seems that being there for his daughter is a cover up for his emotional immaturity. He’s proven that he can be a good father to his daughter. But now that he has to balance that with being a husband as well, he’s struggling and running back to where he’s been the most successful, as a father to Madison.

Nothing he’s said or done is irreparable. But LeToya is right. If these incidents of poor communication, blame-shifting and running when things get tough keep happening, then there will come a point when things have gone too far.

You can watch this interaction in the video below.

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