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I’ve really wondered how this stay-at-home order would play out for new-ish couples. What do you do if you’ve been dating someone for that weird, in-between time where it’s still causal but getting serious, and then you’re forced to make the decision to either stay apart for several months during social distancing, or…move in together? I think a lot of fresh couples faced that dilemma. Maybe they were already spending most nights together, keeping a few items at one another’s places, but they still had their own separate homes. Then, bam, they had to make this decision: to quarantine together, or apart? Those who chose to do it together could be in for a very interesting experience. Quarantining with someone is like putting the relationship on a fast track. You’re suddenly acting like you’re married, cleaning a home and making every meal together. All under the stress of the COVID-19 outbreak.
Sometimes, those new challenges can be good for a relationship as they really show the staying power of the couple. I mean, hey, if they were going to do the long-haul together, they were bound to live together eventually and to face challenges together eventually. Quarantine, and the potential job loss that can come with this pandemic, just means those circumstances happen sooner for some couples rather than later.
My partner and I had been through some stuff before this happened. Long-term unemployment. Loss of a loved one. Depression. So, we were ready for the storm. But it can all be very new for a couple who, just months ago, was in that honeymoon phase when everything is light, easy, fun, and mostly sex. Here are reasons quarantine can break some new couples.
The need to be on all the time
When you are in a new relationship, you want to be vibrant and energetic and funny and sharp when you’re around your partner. That may be why you schedule your hangs during times you know you’ll be those things and not, for example, right after a three-hour conference call with colleagues you hate or after something stressful. Before, you could control when your partner saw you, and limit it to when you were on. Now, a new couple will be around each other all the time, even when they’re lazy, cranky, and just don’t feel like talking, and the stark shift can be a problem.
