Parenthood will test the strength of a relationship. There is no doubt about that. However, babies don’t make relationships flawed. They simply highlight the cracks and issues that already existed. Jayda Cheaves, who shares a child with rapper Lil’ Baby, recently became the target of social media backlash after telling followers that she believes babies “ruin relationships.”
The revelation came during an Instagram Live session when a follower asked the social media influencer if she wants more kids.
“Do I look like I want more kids? If you are in a relationship right now, and you don’t have kids, don’t have any,” she said. “Don’t have a baby, have fun. I love my baby, don’t get me wrong, but they ruin relationships to me. I feel like babies ruin relationships.”
Every new parent has had the experience in which they step back and are momentarily unable to recognize their post-baby relationship, but the baby is never to blame. In healthy relationships, couples are able to rebound. When things were already fractured or dysfunctional, to begin with, things are likely to fall apart. It’s not the baby that ruined the relationship, but it’s likely that they helped to speed up the inevitable. Still, it’s emotionally damaging to place the weight of adult relationships on the shoulders of children who didn’t ask to be here in the first place. Cheaves later circled back to clarify her comments, writing:
“I’m so tired of y’all dragging me for this. it came out so wrong. But this is to my young followers who have ‘baby fever,’ JUST WAIT! Don’t rush having kids because it’s cute or look cool. SOME ppl change even more when a child is involved. That’s it! That’s all. I’m a damn good mother and nobody can take that away from me.”
And she’s right. There are plenty of young people, who don’t understand how consuming motherhood actually is, rushing to have children because they have baby fever. We’re glad that she clarified her statement and hopefully, some will receive the real message that she intended to communicate.