First Date “No-No’s” for Men

December 12, 2011  |  
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When it comes to dating, men and women alike tend to express feelings of anxiety, nervousness and overall curiosity about their upcoming date.  Will he be cute?  What will we talk about?  Is he going to be attracted to me?  Often the man ends up as the “host” of the date. He plans the date and also feels pressure to keep the conversation flowing. With all of the built up anxiety, men often make mistakes on first dates that ruin their chances with their possible perfect match.  As the saying goes “you never get a second chance to make a first impression.” Check out these top 9 mistakes men often make on first dates.

1. Interviewing

When men become too serious they often fall into job interview conversation mode. Make sure you reserve questions like, “So where do you work?” or “How many brothers and sisters do you have?” for the future, after you’ve already had a lot of fun and made the sparks fly. Instead, talk about your hobbies, interesting stories and fun stuff. Avoid anything too deep for a long period of time. On a first date, it can make things a little depressing. Talk like you’ve known each other for years, as if you don’t need to do the awkward 20-questions quiz.  Of course you can ask basic questions, but never make it the main focus of your date. Focus on fun.

2. Too Agreeable

To do well on your first date, men must be interesting to the woman they are out with. Nodding at every single thing she says and repeating, “Oh, yes, exactly, totally, I completely agree” is a sure way to bore a woman to death. Think about it, if a woman wanted someone to agree with everything she says, she would just talk to herself! While you shouldn’t be overly argumentative and argue for the sake of arguing, you should not hesitate to provide your own, personal, unique prospective on the things you both are talking about.

3. Flirt

Remember, what makes a date a date as opposed to a friendly meeting is flirting. Flirting means being playful, teasing each other, and being sarcastic. Banter is where sexual attraction and romantic interest begin and grow from. And if a woman doesn’t respond well to this kind of interaction then maybe the match just isn’t there.  It’s important, however, to not go over board while flirting and cross any uncomfortable boundaries with your date.  A little wink or smile and some cute compliments will most likely do the trick.

4. Mr. Serious

When in the presence of a potential date, men often become boring, instead of keeping up the friendly vibe they have with their friends. They won’t make jokes or laugh with the woman, they don’t play around like they do with their friends and they generally take things a little too seriously. Why do men change their behavior around women, often without even realizing they’re doing it? Because they fear losing their chance with you and decide to “play it safe” while acting very vanilla.  Little do they know that a first date has to be the hook; interesting, fun, and keeping the woman wanting more.

5. Talk Too Much

This is one of the most common and deadly first date mistakes that both sexes are guilty of on a first date. Excessive chattiness literally kills attraction and interest. Use your words sparingly on your first date and don’t engage in a 10 minute monologue, leaving your date listen for too long and let her mind wonder away while sitting across from you and pretending to listen. No matter how interesting your story is, if it’s too long, it won’t be that interesting to her.

6. Boring

If your date finds the night boring, you’re finished. When it comes to having fun on first dates, nothing is more important than what you do. And while dinners and movies are nice, it’s really hard to leave a great impression in these settings. Why? Because they set a very “proper tone” that’s hard to turn into the fun and playful version of yourself. And unless you’re a super funny, intelligent and interesting guy, dinner and the movie dates just aren’t the best option for your first outing. Instead, go to fun places like mini-golf parks, carnivals, parks, or even better, come up with your own unique and fun ideas.

7. Eye Contact

Keeping your eyes on the walls, the table, or the road while talking to your date is a sure way to turn her off. Keeping your eyes on your company is an obvious matter of social courtesy and an essential element for building attraction. Surely you shouldn’t stare in a woman’s eyes the entire time, especially the one you have never been out before, but making sure that your eyes meet periodically is absolutely necessary to keeping the attention of both of you on each other.  It will also keep her more confident and at ease while on your date if she feels you are really listening to her and engaged in what she is saying.

8. Over Complimenting

It’s a good idea to compliment a woman once or twice during your first date. Any more compliments than that, and you will come across as corny and not genuine. Then, the value and the impact of your compliments will diminish and your kind words become meaningless. Remember, a compliment has impact and value when it is well deserved and a sincere opinion, not meaningless flattery.

9. Past Dating Life

Why is talking about past dating life such a turn-off and end up putting you straight into a friend zone? Because that’s what friends do, they talk about their relationships with each other, spilling their guts and views on dating and the opposite sex. Save those topics of conversation until your 10th date or so. If she brings it up, give a very general vague response and switch the topic. For instance, your response to “How often do you date?” should be “I don’t know, a little bit” with a playful smile and talk about something else immediately.

10. Handle Rejection

Too many guys become rude jerks once they see that a woman they are out with is not interested in them and their egos get bruised. Like in sports, men must learn how to accept rejection and “lose” their first date with a girl who is not interested.  Handling rejection or lack of interest with dignity, not taking it personally and moving on, is part of becoming and being a confident, attractive man. Many guys start acting like jerks when they realize that they don’t have a chance to attract a woman. They start saying rude things to a woman and even insult her. Don’t be that guy! Treat women who are not attracted to you with respect. After all, you can’t and shouldn’t be liked by all women just like you don’t like every single woman you meet. So, accept it as a normal fact of life and act accordingly.  You never know, she might tell her friend about your great personality and you might end up with the woman you were really meant to meet.

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