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I so badly want to say that finances don’t play a role in friendships. I would love to be able to say that. But it would be a lie. If you have a really good friendship—especially one you’ve had since childhood—then finances shouldn’t be a big factor in that friendship. But even then, if you make a drastically different income than your friend does, or your spouses make very different incomes, it will be felt. It affects things. You’ll always have those initial, pure things you bonded over with a friend, but as life goes on, and financial changes occur, you will both, slowly but surely, start to live in different ways. You’ll start to think in different ways, too. It just happens. Money is a big reality in life, and if your money situations are different then your realities are different.
You will start to make new friends who are in the similar income bracket as yourself, because you…go to the same high-end gym or…budget gym. You’ll make friends through your career who may be very money-motivated, or not so much. And so, when you do get together with those long-term friends you’ve known forever, you’ll feel small shifts taking place. Nobody is trying to make anybody uncomfortable, but it just happens. It takes money to do things—like go out for dinner or to the movies. Travel is a big one. Traveling with friends is a great way to feel close to friends but if your standards for travel are quite different now, then jet setting together becomes difficult. I wish we could all stay kids forever, in a bubble, unaware of financial realities, just playing make believe and having slumber parties in tents we made on the floor. But that isn’t the case. Here are ways income differences affect friendships.
Exchanging referrals is funny
You’ve tried to give each other referrals for things like, hairdressers, interior decorators, and accountants. But your ideas of a “good deal” are drastically different. Like your friend tells you, “My hairdresser is great. She’ll give you a deal since I referred you. It should only be like $200.” Uh…you can’t accept that referral.
