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male and female friendships do they work

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I hate it when people aren’t just upfront about what they want. So many people love to live in a grey area of not quite stating what they’re after, for many reasons. Sometimes, they just don’t want to say what they want, for fear of not getting it, and feeling hurt. Sometimes, they don’t say what they want because they only partially want it, and want the option to not fully commit. Sometimes, they even just get off on having this vague flirtation going on that they know makes the other person uncomfortable, or puts them in a tough spot.


I’ve had so many male friends—or should I say “friends”—who behaved the way I just described. When all is said and done, I truly only have a few real friends who are guys. It’s totally platonic, no hidden agendas, no secret wishes for something more, no inappropriate advances or testing the waters to see what else could be there. I have just a few male friends who actually even draw the lines, themselves, to make it clear that we’re just friends, and that the friendship is special—as it is.


As for the other dudes who have tried to be my friends, so many have just danced along that line of obviously trying to see if there could be something more, but never quite saying that that’s what they wanted. It was so annoying because, since they wouldn’t outwardly come onto me, I never felt I had an opening to say, “You know we’re just friends, right?” And I think they knew that was the case. That’s why they never quite crossed the line, but stayed right by it. They always had the excuse that they hadn’t technically hit on me. Here are annoying ways male “friends” cross the line.


Texting you late at night

You’re in a relationship, and your male buddy knows it, but for some reason, you roll over at 1am—while your partner is sleeping next to you—to find a text from that “friend.” It says something like, “Hey, are you awake?” or “Hey, I can’t sleep. Wanna chat?” It just feels dirty. He knows you’re sleeping next to your man right now, and that this is not a good look.

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