Why do I feel like singlehood is more common among powerful women than among powerful men? I know so many women who are kicking a** out there in their careers, but seem to struggle to maintain a relationship. Meanwhile, most of the highly successful men I know are married or in long-term relationships. But, if I can be honest, the powerful men I know in stable relationships are in relationships with women who either A) don’t work or B) work jobs that they don’t really care about/don’t require much of their time and attention.
My dad is one such a man. He openly admits that he doesn’t want his partner to work. “I work very hard all day and when I get home I want my partner to be there to have dinner with me and spend time with me. I don’t want her out, working.” How do you feel about that sentiment? I have mixed feelings about it. I mean, it’s not like anyone is forcing my dad’s partner to be with him. She knows the arrangement and the expectations. But isolating the question of whether or not she is happy and putting that aside, what do we think of the man who wants that arrangement? Sexist? Controlling? Endearingly old-school? Relatable? It is a mixed bag, isn’t it?
You might think that my dad’s sentiments are just those of an old man who isn’t used to an age in which women work. But that’s not true. I actually know many men my age who’d prefer a partner who just complimented their careers rather than had her own. And then I know men who say they don’t relate to that at all, love that their partners work, but then…when their partners really hit it big time…show their true feelings. And they’re a bit different. Is it possible that your partner can’t handle you being in the spotlight? Maintaining a relationship while working towards your goals is hard enough, and once you’ve attained them, the struggle may not be over.
He wants regular family dinners
Whether or not you have children (family dinner could just mean you, him, and your dog), he’s very concerned with whether or not you’ll be home for dinner. He asks if you can get out of what you’re doing early, in order to be home for dinner. Should he wait for you to eat? Well how long should he wait? When will you know if you can be back. He’s really clinging onto this nuclear family image of a couple who eats at 6pm sharp together every night.