After Loss Of Her Daughter, Rah Ali Found Out Who Her Real Friends Were: “People Have Delays In How Quick They’re There”
If you’ve been wondering, Rah Ali is in a good place.
The former Love and Hip Hop star has a new radio show on Stationhead Social Radio called OnSite!, which she does every Tuesday with co-host and beauty influencer Richard Lomax and guests.
If the show sounds familiar, it’s because a year ago, she used to do a version of it with former Basketball Wives star Brooke Bailey, but this time around, she and Richard are going about things differently.
“Previously I had a different co-host and it was cool. There wasn’t anything wrong with it, it was just definitely like Girlfriends,” she said. “But with Richard, because we’re so different — I just want to put in caps we’re SO different — it gives people an opportunity to hear two completely different points of view.”
She and Richard have taken conversations going on at home and put it on the radio. They discuss “real topics,” which are issues that affect their day-to-day life that people can relate to. There is also an advice segment, which Rah says is her forte (“Richard gives the worst advice in the world”), and an opportunity to speak on what’s happening on the blogs with other notable people.
“With the show we can talk in real time and give real insight into what we’re thinking,” she said. “It’s a great combination of different things.”
The show is also something that gives Rah a lot of joy. The revamped OnSite! comes after the star lost her daughter, Sanaa, after going into labor at five months pregnant. The devastating experience was one she spoke about and still grieves, but she has used her daughter’s memory as motivation to do good work, internal and external.
“I would definitely say that my cleanse, my self-cleanse and ambition to make sure that I execute certain things was inspired by her,” she said. “That’s everything that’s under the umbrella of me just getting business in order, getting a strong team of support and making sure that every single person around me isn’t just receiving blessings, but has something to bring to the table.”
She was also inspired to make changes in terms of who was in her circle.
“I feel that in this lifestyle that we all have where you’re in the public eye or you’re an influencer, it’s always so easy for everyone to be there for all the great times, parties, awards shows and all the fun times. Everyone’s always there for that. But that enthusiasm isn’t there when it’s real trying times,” she said. “People have delays in how quick they’re there. I think the cleanse, and finding that it’s imperative that I have peace and positivity and not in the cliche way but for real, was important. If we’re not on the same page and working towards the same things, then it just needs to be eliminated because there’s no reason for it.”
Rah has done the work to be in a good place mentally, and says she speaks on Sanaa all of the time to help her cope.
“When I want to cry about it, and I’m not an emotional person, I do. When I’m really upset about something, I just express myself. I don’t hold it in. If I need to talk about her, which is on a regular basis, I do,” she said. “Sometimes I might be watching something and out of the blue I’ll want to talk about her. That’s what I’ll do because that’s what I was told when it first happened — don’t feel like you need to hold it in, and I don’t. I don’t hide her or make myself think that she’s something not to be proud of. The biggest accomplishment I’ve ever had was her.”
Moving forward with Sanaa in mind, Rah is avoiding all drama, but she will use her platform with OnSite! to address whatever is necessary because she doesn’t want anyone else creating a point of view for her. She used, for example, the time people claimed she spoke negatively about former friend Remy Ma miscarrying in the past. Rah says such claims are false. Nevertheless, people took to social media to bring up that rumor after the death of her daughter, which was frustrating for her.
“When I don’t say things and I don’t speak on certain topics, they tell me how I feel about it! I’m like, wait a minute, I didn’t say that,” she said. “I’ll use this for example. There was this one situation where I lost my daughter. There were so many comments saying, ‘Well, Remy lost her daughter and you made fun.’ I saw it the first time and I cringed my face. I saw it a second time, a third time, and before I knew it, it was 20 different times I saw that comment, and that’s because I didn’t shut it down and say, ‘Excuse me, I have never done anything like that.’ It doesn’t matter how much I dislike a person, I would never do anything like that. And please pull up a clip or a comment where I’ve ever done something like that.’ I [shut it down], but it took too long for me to address it. So with the podcast, it doesn’t make it awkward. It’s not me in the comment section or seeming like someone that’s irate going on [Instagram] Live and going off. People look crazy when they do that. So the podcast gives me an opportunity to express myself, to share my views on things and to have a voice for myself instead of people either assuming or someone else speaking for me.”
When asked if her new way of handling things could inspire her to mend relationships with people from her past (we named no one in particular), Rah laughed.
“Ooooh, chile! No ma’am! [laughs] No ma’am! Absolutely not,” she said. “I live by the motto, I still say this, ‘Once you cross me you lost me.’ I just think that you move forward and work on what you need to work on for yourself. Keep your family close, keep good business relationships and that’s it.”
Speaking of good business, Rah is focusing her energy on trying to empower Black women like herself. She’s teaming up with National Share to help women who have dealt with pregnancy and infant loss and to spread awareness.
“I think until I experienced it myself, I didn’t realize how common it was. I think speaking up about it, it does give women who experienced it that sense of support. It also gives awareness to women who intend to have a baby in the future,” she said.
“Women of color experience child loss more than any other race in the world. What happens in different research is sometimes the doctors are not as thorough as they need to be when we don’t have health insurance or they don’t pay as close attention to things when it’s a woman of color. It’s kind of like what we go through with everything else. We’re always the underdog when it comes to everything. Our health and what’s happening with women who are dying as well, not just the loss of their children, it’s important for us to bring attention to that. We have to take care of ourselves, get check-ups and even if we have to, encourage our friends to support each other through that process.”
As previously mentioned, Rah is in a good place. And while she’s operating on a higher wavelength, she’s hesitant to act like she’s a completely new person. People will see a different side of her in terms of how she lets the behavior of other individuals affect her, but as she told us, she’s still the same “everyday girl” she’s always been.
“If I’m on a show and these situations are presented in front of me that wouldn’t naturally happen in my day-to-day life, or if I happen to be in a situation where I’m with someone and things happen to escalate, it’s never my, for lack of a better term, it’s never my sh-t. It’s always this other element involved. My life is not like that. My life consists of me being exactly who I am,” she said.
“I’m really an everyday girl. I’ve never been a person who’s a negative person. I just learned now how to better react to things,” she added. “Instead of trying to say, ‘Oh you’re this new positive person,’ no. I am working on mastering how to react to things because I never have been a person who starts stuff. I just can’t allow the actions of others to make me put myself in really messed up situations. So I don’t want to say I’m this new person because I really just believe from the bottom of my heart that I have been consistent with having a good heart and being a good person.”