The Fatal Flaws Of Two Extreme Extroverts Together

June 11, 2019  |  
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It seems like two extreme extroverts would be great together. They both like to socialize, right? They both like to see and be seen by other people and be at all the hot events. It would never feel as if one were dragging the other out to spend time with friends. But, that’s mostly true of moderate extroverts. When talking about extreme extroverts, I’m talking about individuals who need almost constant socializing and group activities to maintain even a base level of happiness. We all know someone like that: it just seems like she never sleeps! And is on the invite list for several great events every night. Extreme extroverts usually need someone a bit more mellowed out to balance out the relationship. I’m almost an extreme extrovert, and dated a man just like myself once. It was a disaster. Here are the fatal flaws of two extreme extroverts together.

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Your invitations will compete

Deciding what to do on a Saturday night will not be easy because you will both have received several separate invitations to events. So you’ll argue over which one to go to. When one person is an introvert, this just doesn’t come up because he or she simply doesn’t have a ton of invitations. Two extreme extroverts will both make passionate arguments as to why their event will be better and it will just lead to a fight.

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Whoever loses resents it

You have to choose something to do ultimately, but whoever doesn’t win is a bit grumpy about it the entire night. He’s texting his friends who are at the other event, wondering what’s going on over there, and this irritates his partner, who feels like he isn’t being present. Extreme extroverts have severe FOMO and can’t stand skipping their social event to go to their partner’s event.

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Or, you just go your separate ways

The alternative is that you both go your separate ways for the night, attending your respective events. But if you choose this option too often (which two extroverts might do) you wind up spending a great deal of time apart, so you don’t share experiences and memories together.

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Actually, you separate when you’re together

The truth is that even when you do go to events together, you go your separate ways, still. You want to meet everyone. You don’t want to miss out on anything going on. You’re both social butterflies, fluttering around, so you still don’t really experience the night together. Your priority isn’t being together: it’s to make an appearance.

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Singles misinterpret your friendliness

Extroverts face this problem a lot: people mistake your friendliness for flirtiness. So, you’ll both have singles giving you their phone numbers and asking you out. It’s awkward, because in retrospect, you can see how they got the wrong idea.

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And this causes jealousy and arguments

Even though you both perpetuate the issue with your extreme friendliness, you still get upset when someone gives your partner her number. There will be a lot of jealousy and arguments over who “provoked” the attention.

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Neither of you would skip a social event

Neither of you would ever entertain the idea of skipping a social event. The questions that come up are, “What time should we go?” “Should we drive or Uber?” “What should we wear?” and “Who else will be there?” but never is it, “Should we go?”

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So you’ll rarely make time for alone time

Unfortunately, because you can’t stand the idea of missing a party, you’ll never make time for alone time. You’re both extreme extroverts, so neither of you will be the one to put the social brakes on and say, “What if we just spend time at home tonight?”

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You both want to be the center of attention

You both like to be the center of attention at social gatherings, telling long, animated stories at dinner parties and grabbing the microphone from the DJ booth at bars and clubs. Since you both want that, you see the other as direct competition. You don’t admire how funny or charming your partner was when he told a story: you’re just jealous he took up all the attention.

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Including in one on one conversations

Even in one on one conversations, you don’t really listen to each other. You compete to be the most interesting or funny one. You don’t have one more introverted individual to decelerate this competitive atmosphere, and make the extrovert realize he’s talking too much.

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There are increased social media disputes

Extreme extroverts will have more social-media related fights than is normal for couples today. Neither of you is great at self-editing on social media, and may post things that the other believes provoke flirtatious comments from others, or were just too private.

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You RSVP for each other

There’s nothing you hate more than saying no to an invitation, so you make the mistake of RSVPing, on the spot, for each other without consulting one another. You just want to keep the enthusiasm train going, so you say, “Yes of course we will be at your party!” But you didn’t ask your partner if he wanted to go.

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Your phones are always going off

Both of your phones are always buzzing. You have several text threads with many groups of friends and someone is always sending some funny video or photo to the thread. You always have Facebook messenger and Instagram notifications buzzing. It makes it hard to have an uninterrupted conversation at home.

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Everyone takes over your celebrations

For a long time, you were single, and you were quite a force in your social life. People were used to getting to be very involved in your birthday parties or New Years Plans. Everyone knew you could be counted on for a good time during those occasions. So, you can’t really tell people, “My boyfriend and I are just doing something alone for my birthday.” People will push their way in.

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You’ll spend too much

Nobody is going to decelerate the spending in this relationship. Another round of shots? Concert tickets? Booze cruise tickets? Shared ski cabin with friends? You both always say yes, and your savings goals go out the window.

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