Whether you’re nearing your third trimester or you’re two teenagers and a toddler into motherhood, it’s no secret that Mother’s Day can bring pressure and expectations typically from those who think motherhood should appear or be experienced a certain way. Honestly, I’m not all that excited by thoughts of brunches with bottomless mimosas, nor am I desperately craving a day of self-care surrounded by bath bombs and my spouse making dinner. The truth is I prefer to make my own damn baked mac and cheese. Honestly, with working and maintaining a balance of my responsibilities at home and work, I don’t really mind a day of napping and cuddling with my kid or blowing bubbles with her in the backyard. I don’t want the pressure of putting on clothes or doing my hair to be surrounded by strangers celebrating in our shared responsibility of care giving. Call me anti-social, but I’m willing to bet what most moms want for Mother’s Day is to be unbothered. Like most holidays, I believe these times are just special moments to acknowledge family, friends and those we love, particularly if we haven’t been able to show them the appreciation and time they really deserve all year. Often times the bare minimum is more than enough, and more than anything moms want and need support and appreciation all year round.
Like most holidays, Mother’s Day has a way of creating expectations of how the day should go which depending on every individual’s experience can bring a whole lot of disappointment when what actually takes place is departure from what we may have anticipated. All too often we get caught up in the excitement of flowers, cards and spa days that we actually forget to enjoy ourselves and focus on what the day is truly about. In fact the day as we have come to know it was started in 1908 by Anna Jarvis, a woman who was unmarried and had no children. Jarvis started the day as a continuation of the work her mother had done to unite mothers in times of war. Jarvis had a simple intention in the early 1900’s to set aside a day to recognize the sacrifices women made for their children and actually spent much of her latter life denouncing the commercialization of the day and even attempted to have it removed from the calendar.
So before you go getting worked up over bouquets and breakfast-in-bed, know that outside of all of the gifts and kind words, at the heart of it all Mother’s Day is time for mothers to feel seen and supported. Here are few tips for enjoying your day even if doesn’t exactly meet your expectations: