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boundaries and relationships

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Transitioning away from being a people-pleaser was one of the scariest things I ever did. I didn’t do it all in one fell swoop, of course. It happened through a series of small actions—actions I took to show certain individuals in my life that I would no longer give into the understanding that our relationship would be mostly about them. There were a lot of people with whom I had to do this. For the record, I don’t consider myself a victim. I’m not trying to demonize those individuals or pity myself. I’m an adult. I always had the option to draw some lines and set some boundaries. Naturally, so long as I didn’t create boundaries (or at least firm ones) people were going to push them. It’s what people tend to do. It was scary to create boundaries because I worried some people would like me less because of it. And I was right—but the reality is that anyone who dislikes you for setting boundaries is someone you shouldn’t like. Here are ways to establish boundaries and establish your value.

via GIPHY

Requiring two-way conversations

If someone talks about herself the whole time you’re together, never giving you a chance to get a word in edgewise or asking you about yourself, say something. Say, “I feel like these conversations are more of a monologue on your part rather than a dialogue. I need my friendships to be just that—friendships—rather than feel like therapist/patient relationships.”

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