(New York Times) — How do you define financial security? With several lists floating around, it’s easy to get caught up in the idea of “should.” The idea goes that if you just follow a list of “shoulds” you’ll automatically feel secure financially. The reality is that what makes us feel safe depends on family background, education, work experience and more general feelings about risk. One conversation about financial security that I have repeatedly with clients demonstrates this well. It’s the debate between couples over investing any extra money versus paying down the mortgage.