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being a woman in the workplace

Source: Charday Penn / Getty

I’m going to say something that may ruffle some feathers but, ultimately if it does, it may be because most people know it to be true and just wish it weren’t. Here it is. Most women I know who are extremely successful are not exactly nice. At least not in the conventional sense of the word. They probably do, in their own ways, do things that are generous and caring. But one’s first impression of them wouldn’t be, “What a sweetheart.” Nobody’s calling these women “Hun” or “Doll.” Nobody would dare because they can just sense that they’d get daggers in response. I’m personally coming to terms with the fact that, while I like to be considered sweet in my personal life, in my professional one, I may need to put on a colder face. Every woman who has gotten anything done seems to have done that, and I’m starting to understand why. I’m not talking about being a bully. I’m just talking about advocating for myself, first and foremost. Here is why being sweet and successful is very difficult.

being a woman in the workplace

Source: Natdanai Pankong / EyeEm / Getty

You don’t like conflict

If you’re sweet, then you likely don’t like conflict, and you make choices based on the desire to avoid conflict more than a desire for something else—like winning. That means, for example, you’ll accept whomever your boss puts on your team for a project, even though you know that team won’t produce the best work.

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