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Young couple is listening music at home

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When you’re in the throes of a new relationship, it’s easy to miss the things that may actually be wrong with your new union because you’re so wrapped up in new love’s bliss. While it may not be something you want to do, it’s essential to take a step back and look at your relationship for what it truly is.

We’ve all heard how easy it is to confuse lust for love, but it’s also quite easy to assume comfortability is equal to compatibility. The truth is, many of us can get along with a lot of different people based on surface level similarities, but in the long run, liking the same TV shows or flavor of ice cream will only get you so far when it comes to sustaining a meaningful relationship over the long term. Check out these signs your relationship is more superficial than sustainable.

Happy couple sharing cell phone at dining table

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You Don’t Spend Quality Time Together

If you don’t spend an adequate amount of time together to truly observe and get to know each other on a deeper level, then your relationship can realistically only go so far before it fizzles out.

Only spending occasional time together is not only a waste of time, but it makes you wonder where the relationship is headed if something as essential as quality time is basically nonexistent. If a friend with benefits is all you’re looking for, cool. But if you want more, it’s best to look elsewhere.


Pillow Talk

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Sex Is The Best Thing About The Relationship

If there is one crystal clear sign that your relationship is completely superficial, it’s when the best thing about it is the sex. Sure, sex is certainly a major part of a relationship…but it definitely shouldn’t be the only thing.

Sex also shouldn’t be what keeps you in a relationship, if it is, then you should probably just change the terms of your “relationship” to friends with benefits. Many people stay in unfulfilling relationships because the sex is good, instead of finding someone who can give them all that and more.

Couple talking on beach with bicycle

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You Don’t Know Much About Them

Do you know their favorite color? What high school they went to? What their hopes and dreams are? What’s their biggest fear? These are questions that most people in relationships can answer about their partner because they have a deep connection and a true bond.

If you can’t recall even the most basic information about your partner, then you’re not really in a relationship, you’re merely hooking up. Additionally, you have to ask yourself if you even want to know more about them, if the answer is “no,” then you know what to do.

Playful in the morning

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The Communication Is Low

Communication is one of the most important components of a relationship and if you lack the proper amount, it’s safe to say your relationship is surviving on borrowed time.

Try to recall how often you and your partner actually talk to each other, about real things, if you can’t then the red flag is already right in front of you. Communication can save a lot of relationship issues, but perhaps being superficial isn’t one of them.

African couple taking lunch break from painting

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You Both Easily Argue About Trivial Things

Couples argue, and in the proper context and setting, it’s healthy. However, it’s important to know when arguing constantly is a symptom of a broken, or in this case superficial, relationship.

If you find yourself arguing about the most trivial things on a regular basis, it’s a clear indication that you’re really annoyed with each other most of the time. Good sex and great looks can’t save a vacant foundation.


North american mixed-race couple in the kitchen

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Your Values, Goals And Morals Are Vastly Different

It’s true that opposites attract and you don’t have to have everything in common in order to have a lasting relationship, but sometimes you can have too many differences to make things work.

Your values, morals and goals are part of what makes you who you are because it’s what you stand for. So, if your partner feels the extreme opposite about your needs, wants and outlooks as you do, it’s probably time to say “goodbye.”

Couple About to Kiss

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They’re Not Your Total Package

Whether we want to admit it or not, we all have a list of what we would like our ideal partner to have. Most of the time that complete list is not fulfilled with who we actually end up with, and that’s fine, but they at least have a majority of the things, right?

If your current partner is not only not your total package, but is barely a package at all, based on your assessment, you need to exit the relationship. Continuing to stay will only cause you to nitpick and resent them for the qualities that don’t have that you want.

We were made for each other

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You Haven’t Met Their Family, They Haven’t Met Yours

Meeting the family is a big deal and shouldn’t be taken lightly or rushed into, but if you’re in a serious relationship it should definitely happen eventually. If neither you nor your partner have met each others families, and don’t have any intention to, you’re operating on a surface level for sure.

Has the topic of meeting families come up at all? If not, the reason could be staring you in the face. When your relationship is centered around superficial things, something as concrete as meeting the family isn’t even in the equation.

I love you my honey bunny

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You’re Addicted To Their Physical Appearance

Look, we’ve all been guilty of dating someone strictly because of their physical appearance at some point in our lives, but when you know better you do better. If you can’t seem to exit your superficial relationship because you’re blinded by the physical, there’s a problem.

Physical appearance is nice, but it’s not what’s going to keep your relationship going throughout the years and the tough times. Ask yourself, if looks weren’t present, would you still want to be in the relationship? Chances are you already have your answer.

Happy tourist couple

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You Can’t See A Future With Them

This is a prime example of only having a superficial relationship that lacks the proper substance. If you can’t picture a future with them in any way, then you already know that the clock is running out on your union.

It’s fine to live in the moment with your partner, but if they truly mean something special to you, you should be able to imagine yourself having a future with them in some capacity.

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