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If I had to sum up what was wrong with every failed relationship I’ve ever had, I believe they’d all fall under the umbrella of this sentence: the men were not emotionally open. Some were uncomfortable with my openness, and pulled away if I shared feelings regarding my own insecurities, or perhaps things that happened in my childhood. They weren’t ready to confront those things in themselves so they certainly weren’t ready to hear about them from somebody else. Some men had no issue with my being vulnerable, but they felt it was their job—as a man—to be stoic, impenetrable, and impossible to read. They were glad that I was an open book, but they were closed books. They were books that were closed, put in locked chests, and shoved beneath the house. I couldn’t get to their real contents. And if I could say what makes my current relationship work—I mean really tick—it’s this: my man is very emotionally open. It pays off in dividends every day. Men, here is how being emotionally open will reward you.
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Being closed off is exhausting
Never showing your cards and always putting on a front is exhausting. It takes constant effort. You never get to emotionally relax. It causes your whole body to tense up and always feel tired and strained. When you emotionally open up, you feel more energized.
