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Gettyimages.com/Two young females standing at bar in club, smiling, holding cocktails

Married women and single women just have different objectives when they go out. If you are married, try to remember what it was like when you still hadn’t found your special somebody—every time you stepped out of your front door, there was the possibility of meeting him. Your single friend can’t help but always have one eye on the prowl, even if she’s supposed to have both on you because you haven’t seen each other in months. Hey—you wouldn’t have found your partner if you hadn’t been looking at least a little. But there’s no denying that when you’re a married woman who goes out on the town with your single friend, you have some funny differences in agendas. Here’s what it’s like being a very taken woman going out with your single bestie.

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You want a quiet spot

Your priority when choosing a venue is a quiet spot—a spot where you can hear each other talk and won’t be interrupted by people constantly. You just want to be able to sit down, enjoy good food and drinks, and catch up.

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She wants a busy place

Your friend subtly tries to steer you to a place with “more action” or “a little more atmosphere.” Translation: she wants to go where the men are. Your idea of a good place for girls’ night is her idea of a…well, a bad idea.

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You want to talk to her

You want to talk to your friend. If men try to talk to the two of you, you politely tell them to leave you alone—you’re trying to catch up with a friend.

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She wants to talk to strangers

Your single friend specifically wants to talk to strangers. She keeps finding ways to drag guys nearby into conversation by asking them flirty hypothetical questions or commenting on what they’re eating.

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You’re focused on the catch-up

You are so excited to see your friend. She has 110 percent of your attention. You want to know every single thing that has happened in her life since you last saw her and tell her everything that’s happened to you.

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She has a wandering eye

She does her best to participate in the conversation but she has a wandering eye. She’ll stop herself, mid-sentence, to point out a cute guy or ask aloud if a man she sees is single.

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This is all you’re doing tonight

This is the only plan you’ve made tonight. You barely have time to get out and it’s a miracle that you were able to put aside three hours to see this friend.

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She squeezed you in

She squeezed you in after happy hour with her single friends and before a late night date. She’s working with a tight schedule and you can kind of sense it.

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She asks what you’re wearing

She texts you the day before you hang out to ask what you’re wearing. She sends you photos of possible outfits she may wear. She’s very concerned with looking her best and knowing what the attire is where you’re going.

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You hadn’t thought about it

You really hadn’t thought about what you’d wear. You were just planning on wearing whatever you wore to work that day.

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She’s getting Tinder notifications

Her phone is blowing up with Tinder notifications and texts from a few of the men she’s talking to/seeing. She may or may not receive a dick pic.

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You’re getting “We need toilet paper” texts

You’re getting texts from your husband letting you know that you’re out of toilet paper or asking you where you stored the extra buttery popcorn he’s only allowed to have on weekends. You try so hard to get that man to eat healthier.

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You haven’t been out in ages

The whole experience of being out at a bar feels novel to you. You never make it out anymore. It’s just exciting to be somewhere other than your couch.

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She’s hungover

Your friend has been out most nights this week. She’s hungover from what she did last night. You’re catching her in the middle of a bender. There’s nothing novel to her about being out.

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It’s fun to be a part of it

At the end of the day, you’re happy to be in touch with this part of life again. It’s fun, exciting, and energizing. And you even want your friend to enjoy it while it lasts because you know that one day she’ll be married, too, and receiving texts about toilet paper supplies.

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