If you’re out in the dating field for a while before meeting your perfect someone, you’re bound to get a crazy ex—if not a few. It doesn’t take much for someone to become a crazy ex. The truth is that, emotional health is hard to come by and it’s something that not everyone achieves. We all have pain from our past, and incidents in our lives that have left us a little unstable—perhaps a little codependent. Not everyone is brave enough to go to therapy and put in the personal work it takes to become a whole, emotionally sound individual. And those who weren’t willing to do the personal work, well, they’re still out there…dating. There are a lot of them, and if you encounter one and break up with him, he’ll likely be a crazy ex. Some people don’t handle rejection well. I feel bad for them, really, but that doesn’t change the fact that a crazy ex can make your life a living hell. I feel bad for them, but not so bad that I’m going to let them keep bothering me. Here is how to exorcize a crazy ex from your life.
Block, block, block
Don’t even hesitate to block. Don’t give a crazy ex the benefit of the doubt. He will use every avenue to reach out. Block all of his email addresses. Block him on social media. Block his phone number. Get on top of this, right away.
Change all passwords now
If your ex doesn’t have passwords to your email and social media, he might still be able to guess them, based on what he knows about you. Change all passwords right now so your ex doesn’t get into your accounts and wreak havoc on your life.
A crazy ex will probably reach out to your friends. He’ll try all sorts of tactics to get you to talk to him, like making up terrible stories to your friends about you—stories he knows will get back to you, and provoke you to contact him. Ask your friends to block him, too. Warn them he may reach out.
A crazy ex will also try to get to you through your family. He may try to call them and pretend he is “worried” about you and then try to make them believe that you’re in someway unhappy or unstable, and that he can help. Warn your family that this may happen. Be transparent with them about how crazy he has shown himself to be, so they know they can’t trust a word he says.
Warn a boss or coworker
Crazy exes know no boundaries. They may reach out to your boss or coworker. They may make up stories about you being dishonest in work or talking badly about your boss. Although you don’t want to rope your boss into this, you may have to warn her that this might happen.
Conceal a new partner
If you’re dating someone new, it’s best for everyone if you conceal him for a while until the crazy ex goes away. This just means refraining from posting a lot online about the new relationship. I promise you that it’s not worth it while the crazy ex is still after you. Seeing those photos will anger and provoke him even more.
Fill your current partner in
You will have to fill your current partner in on the situation. The crazy ex is probably hoping to reach out to your current partner and tell him all sorts of things about you—nasty things, untrue things, and upsetting things. It’s best that your partner hears it from you first—the things the ex might say. If you are open about your past, then it has no power over you aka your ex has no power over you.
Do not respond to the crazy ex. If he reaches you someway, use all of your willpower not to reply. It might be hard because he could say some truly provoking things. Or, you could just be at your wits end. But any sort of response only encourages him to continue.
File a restraining order
If it comes down to it, file a restraining order. A lot of crazy exes never assume that you’d take this step. Prove them wrong.
Easy on the social media
Though you’ve blocked the ex, he may form fake accounts as a way of getting in touch with you. It’s best, for now, to go easy on the posting. You don’t want the ex watching your new, happy life—it will infuriate him and provoke him.
Talk to your office security
Show the security guard at your office—or any intimidating-looking man you know and trust there—a photo of the ex. Explain that if he sees this man in the building, he must be escorted out.
Talk to your apartment security
Take the same precautions at your apartment. Show the building security guard, or your neighbors you trust, a photo of the ex and tell them he cannot be there.
If he has anything on you…
The ex will try to ruin your other relationships. If you ever said anything mean about a friend, he’ll reach out to that friend and tell her. You may as well come clean to anyone the ex might be reaching out to. If the ex realizes that you’ve already told everyone all the information he hoped to share, he’ll run out of moves.
Beware of common friends
Stay away from common friends for now. First off, if they’re friends with him, they could be a bit crazy, too. Second off, they could accidentally pass on information to him about you.
Wait it out
When all is said and done, know that it won’t go on forever. Every crazy ex I ever had eventually just found someone new to latch onto. Crazy exes are like parasites: they need someone to feed on. When you give them nothing long enough, they move on.