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For three years, Genese Jamilah, founder of I Don’t Do Clubs, has been throwing Must Love Beards parties around the country. If you don’t know what Must Love Beards is, in short, it’s “a national day party series for men who rock beards and women who can’t get enough of them.” I must admit, I thoroughly appreciate what beards have done for men who, otherwise, might not have gotten a second glance, but I was never quite sure the scene was for me.

As a woman, I’ve been spoiled by “ladies get in free” promotions ever since I first stepped foot on a college campus. But Must Love Beards evens out that gender privilege, charging women ($25 for a ticket) to get into the party and letting men in for free, beard or not. I won’t lie, that reversal had me a bit shook. The “If you bring the women — for free–men will follow” gender dynamic is all I’ve ever known, but I learned Saturday that if you bring the men, the women will absolutely pay to follow.

Initially, though, the female clientele was a concern of mine as well. A friend of mine had attended a Must Love Beards party in its early stages and delivered a tale of grandiose thirst regarding women who were putting forth their best defense skills and attempting to box out women who might have their sights set on a man who caught their eye as well. That story, paired with a scathing email Genese published from a party attendee who was irate that she didn’t meet a man at one of the events she went to had me worried Must Love Beards was going to be like a chapter of The Hunger Games. I already knew my spirit wasn’t up for the challenge. But when another friend encouraged me to get out of the house and told me Must Love Beards is a good time, whether you meet a man or not, I figured it was time to give it a try.

I arrived close to 6 pm for the party which was from 3 pm-9 pm. I was warned I needed to arrive by that time or else be subjected to long lines. Aside from an overzealous, rude bouncer who had an issue with my ID, the entry process was smooth. I handed the women at the door my phone to scan for my Eventbrite tickets and was given the option to either jump right into the party or check my coat. I jumped right in. Well, after a guy bumped the life out of my left shoulder and neglected to utter as much as an “excuse me,” after which I decided I needed a drink.

There was a bar right by the front entrance and I immediately noticed how even the mix of the crowd appeared to be. It’s not unusual for a night (or mid-day) out in NYC to include a sea of women and a handful of men — even less if you’re talking about men you actually want to engage with — but I was pleasantly surprised with what appeared to be a 50/50 split. As I waited to give the bartender my drink and connect with my other co-workers in attendance, I got a few smiles from men. And when we transferred over to the next bar which had a shorter wait, we were immediately chatted up by a group of guys. Good, men are still willing to make the first move here, I thought to myself.

We made one round across the dance floor which hadn’t yet packed to capacity. There were more friendly glances from men and no unwelcome touching or grabbing — you know the kind that has come to be typical of a club (thank God this wasn’t one) –and, eventually, we settled into a corner by the VIP section. In less than an hour — or one trip to the bathroom and another to the bar — the place was packed.

One thing I noticed was although the venue was at capacity, the dance floor wasn’t so tight that you couldn’t maneuver. This also wasn’t one of those parties where everyone just stands around the dance floor and doesn’t actually dance. The pairings seemed to be happening quite quickly and even those who weren’t getting their Ella Mai on were having fun just dancing with their friends to the tunes of DJ Olivia Dope’s turntables. My personal favorite moment was when she played “Stomp” and everyone lost their mind for the Lord.

Now about the beards, which is what we were all there for right? Though one co-worker said she felt it was clear the men were there to be chose rather than do the choosing, I felt all of my encounters were decent. I did fail at my comedic attempt to get a guy whose path I kept crossing to buy me a drink, but I had a good laugh with another guy at the bar who asked me to ask the bartender the price for a bottle of Hennessy. When I told him $350 and jokingly asked if he wanted me to go ahead and order that for him, we talked for a bit at which point he told me to put his number in my phone. Maybe the roles were a bit reversed. Men seemed to have no problem showing they were interested, but it was the women who were expected to close the deal. Or, as we would typically say, prove they really like you by calling.

My experience may have also been a bit unique, as I was introduced to a friend of a co-worker’s friend whom I hit it off with pretty quickly and I felt like my mission for the evening had been accomplished. If you can meet one gainfully employed man who doesn’t immediately show you signs of crazy when you step out of the house, it’s a win. I’m also not into seeing how many men I can bag in one setting, which may not suit me well considering dating is said to be a number’s game, but, again, if I come across one person who’s fun and seems like a decent human being, I try not to press the universe.

I do remember feeling a bit more empathy for the male plight by the end of the night though, at least from a financial standpoint. I thought to myself, If I paid $25 to get into a spot and $16 per drink, I’d probably be trying to leave with something too. I’d also have to really like you to buy you a drink on what would be a $60 night out, at minimum. As women, we’re used to spending that much to make ourselves look good but not on the actual outing itself so it was interesting to be on the other side.

All in all, I’d say my co-worker was right. Must Love Beards is a good time, whether you meet a man or not. Finding a guy who likes you as much as you love his beard, is just icing on the cake.

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