Lynn Whitfield is known for playing strong female characters that take no mess. And though the actress is as charming and vivacious as they come in real life, it’s clear Ms. Whitfield doesn’t stand for nonsense in her personal life either. When we got a chance to chat with the iconic star about her role in Netflix’s Nappily Ever After, she talked openly with us about her hair journey and how her daughter, who’s biracial, actually encouraged her to embrace her natural texture.

In discussing interracial relationships, we also asked Whitfield if she experienced any backlash when she married her second husband, director Brian Gibson, in 1990. Though the marriage was shortlived — they divorced in 1992 — Whitfield did say some people took issue with the fact that she fell in love with the white man who directed her in the HBO television film, The Josephine Baker Story. Making a point to say she wasn’t intimate with Gibson while they worked together because “I couldn’t give up my power,” Whitfield added that she has one question for any Black man who didn’t approve of her interracial marriage: “Where were you to step in and make me an offer I couldn’t refuse?”

Check out the video above as Whitfield shares her hair story, her experience raising a biracial daughter, and why she can’t be bothered with critics of her love life.

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