Last night’s “Ready-Like” episode of “Insecure,” featured a glowing, giddy Issa falling head over heels for her new beau, Nathan. After relishing in some “I like you” post-coital bliss, Issa proudly told her friends that her supportive bae was her “mans.” Unfortunately, the ribbons in the sky for their love came floating back to earth by the end of the episode, with Nathan suddenly going M.I.A on Issa without an explanation.
Despite this show being fictional, the rollercoaster ride of emotions pictured here is accurate af. This is one disappointment game that I try my hardest to avoid.
One of the most brilliant pieces of dating advice I ever received was that “dating is for collecting data.” In the flurry of emotions that accompany the euphoria of falling in love, this simple directive has helped me to soberly understand that these first couple of months together aren’t an automatic prelude to forever, rather, it is a time to collect information. In your first year dating someone, you get to understand who they are in detail. 12 months is a good amount of time to see how your significant other reacts to stress, pressure, anxiety and fear. It’s just enough togetherness to discover your compatibility when it comes to values, settling disagreements and compromising. This is when lifestyle matches or mismatches are discovered, and commitment potential is explored. A year is enough time to take off the “rose colored glasses” of good conversation and good d*ck to more accurately examine lifetime partner potential.
Here are some reasons you should hold off on publicly and personally claiming someone as your man, until you at least hit the shiny one year mark.
