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Diplomacy is important in all areas of life. The diplomatic person usually sees a better outcome than the aggressive person. What you have to remember is that, any time you want anything from someone—an apology, a change in behavior, an elimination of behavior, an admittance of fault—nobody ever wants to feel like they are losing. Nobody wants to feel like they are making too big of a compromise, or that they are being stepped all over. This came up recently when my boyfriend and I had to evacuate our apartment several days for construction and then our landlord wanted to raise our rent. I wanted to tell my landlord we could sue him for the lost days during construction; my boyfriend (he’s more diplomatic than I am) suggested that, instead, we offer to agree to a new three-year lease if they keep the rent the same. In his idea, nobody felt like they were losing or being forced to do anything they didn’t wan to do. My idea probably would have gotten us evicted so, I’m glad I listened to my boyfriend. I’ve learned a lot from him about diplomacy actually. Here are ways to be more diplomatic in your relationship.
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Always ask for explanations
Always give your partner a chance to explain himself. If he’s done something that upset you, ask him why he did it, or what his thinking was. Everyone appreciates a chance to “show their work” (like from the days of grade school) and sometimes, if you let them, you can avoid a fight.
