I may or may not be someone who comes from a toxic family. They don’t know that I believe them to be toxic because, well, telling a toxic person they are toxic rarely goes well. People who are actually toxic will throw a fit, begin tossing out hurtful and non-productive statements, and just drag you down into the exact pit you were trying to stay away from. The tricky thing about family is that, you sort of have to stay connected to them. You can try to cut ties and burn bridges but, somehow, you always end up a little worse for it than if you’d just tried to make it work, no matter how hard that is. Maybe it’s our biology that just won’t let us walk away, even when our family does us more harm than good. If you saw me and my family together, you almost wouldn’t know anything was wrong, but that’s only because I’ve mastered the art of surviving those interactions. Here are realities only people from toxic families understand.
First dates asking about your family
When first dates say, “So, tell me about your family” you cringe, get annoyed, change the subject, or just look terrified. You can’t tell them everything—it would terrify them. But you need to tell them enough to let them know why exactly you don’t rave about your family. And you can’t be too harsh yet—this person is still getting to know you.