When you’re in the right relationship, it should feel like there is almost no such thing as too much time together. Almost. But even couples who have that type of crazy, once-in-a-lifetime kind of love you see in movies like “The Notebook” still need some time apart. At the end of the day, everybody needs alone time. No two humans can possibly get along 24/7, always having their moods, needs, and wants sync up. It just doesn’t happen. No matter how bonded you are, you’re still two separate entities and sometimes, you just wont vibe. This can especially happen when you live together, and even both work from home. If you have a similar or almost identical social circle, then you may barely be apart. It’s okay to admit when you need time apart. The real fights happen when you refuse to admit it and stubbornly stay in the same room when you’re about to explode. Here are signs you and your partner need time apart.
He’s “in the way” a lot
If you both want to cook or get ready for bed at the same time, it’s no longer cute or fun—it’s a nuisance. Every time your elbows so much as graze each other while brushing your teeth or stirring your food, you want to yell, “Can I just have this space to myself for ten minutes?”
You’re losing it over a dirty dish
You’ve lost your temper over a dirty dish or towel your partner left out. You unleashed a Wrath on him as if he had cheated on you or stolen money from you. When you find a pile of laundry that he hasn’t put away, it feels like a personal attack.
You’re let down when he gets home
If you find you have the place to yourself, you get really excited. And then if your partner walks in, rather than be happy to see him, you have to hide your disappointment.
Friends remind you it’s “Girls only”
Friends have to remind you when they plan a girls night that it’s girls only. Aka stop bringing your significant other everywhere.
You wait for him to finish talking
Rather than listen to what he’s saying, you’ve just started waiting for him to finish talking. You find yourself thinking, “Is he still going? I could be watching my Netflix by now.”
You argue about the restaurant/movie
You get into blowouts about which restaurant to go to or which movie to see. That’s what happens when it’s no longer about the company with whom you do those things—you want different company, so you better at least get to see the movie you want.
You’ve neglected yourself
You feel like you’ve neglected yourself. You feel as if you haven’t given yourself your usual special treatment like baths, or journaling time. And you feel like your partner is a direct enemy of these things.
You put on headphones, just because
You’ve started wearing headphones, just to send the message that you are not to be disturbed. You’re not even listening to music or watching anything on your laptop.
You’re talking about literally nothing
You’ve found yourself incredibly bored with your own story. You and your partner have gotten down to just talking about… the weather and…traffic. You know—things people talk about when they’re out of things to talk about.
You haven’t called or texted in weeks
You don’t have an outgoing or incoming call with your partner in your call log for weeks. That’s because you’ve been in the same apartment that whole time.
You’ve started closing doors
You’ve started closing the door to the bedroom when you’re just reading, or closing the door to the bathroom when you’re doing your makeup. You’re creating physical barriers.
Interruptions are not cute
It’s no longer cute if your partner tries to tickle you when you’re working. You get really angry. You feel like he’s trying to sabotage you.
You both have a free night; it worries you
If you find that you both happen to be free one night, it doesn’t feel like a blessing—it feels like a punishment. An imprisonment. A curse.
Driving together has gotten tense
Driving together has gotten pretty tense. There’s a lot of backseat driving and anger over backseat driving and criticism over how or where one parks. You get out of the car angry.
You have no stories
You have no stories you can share. You start one and realize that your partner was there for it himself because you’re never apart.