In my first couple of years out of college, all I could think about was finding a job and paying my bills. I was fixated on making a stable income, and making enough money to afford going out for dinner with friends and taking the occasional vacation. I was actually fortunate enough to wind up in a situation like that pretty quickly but then…depression set in. Why was I depressed? I had everything I (thought I) wanted: a cute apartment, a job with a somewhat impressive title, and good friends. But one day it struck me: I wasn’t passionate about my life. I wasn’t really developing something. I wasn’t chasing a dream. I was just putting in the hours at work, going home, having a nightcap while watching TV, and doing it all over again the next day. I’d meet great guys on dates, and I had wonderful friends but…I couldn’t derive joy from these relationships. Then I found my passion and I have to tell you—and I know this won’t be the same for everyone but—I’ve never really struggled with depression again. Passion is a powerful thing. Here is how not having a passion can ruin your life.
You put pressure on your partner
You wind up putting a lot of pressure on your romantic partner to provide excitement in your life—whether that’s through always making plans to travel with you or always being available to pay attention to you. You direct this tremendous need for passion in your life all towards him. That’s too much pressure for a relationship.